Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   It was revealed today that Obama will spend a half Billion bucks on his Presidential Historical Library. Question: If he has sequestered virtually every document from his past...SO...Why even build a historical Library about your life in the first place?

   In the Golden Age of America .... Everybody knew which restroom to use.

   .... HA! ..... Ya ..... It's all fun and games till you realize it isn't a video game ..... It is real life ......

   No matter what you call Budweiser, it's still crappy beer....

   It's always a great day when you wake up on the right side of the grass

   Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm... but I wasnt finished....

   Smart Car owners have the added bonus of "my dog ate my car' as an excuse for being late to work.

   Memorial Day Weekend is coming up and Summer is just around the corner. I can tell because the UPS guy asked me to put sun block on his legs.

   ?The next time someone asks me what I'm doing, I'm gonna reply "I'm breathing 2 stay alive how about you"?

   If had more than zero payday loans, you're doing it wrong...

   .... Of course Gamer Boy living in my basement .... you're not going to find the perfect Gamer Girl ..... Cuz she's sitting at home playing games just like you ....

   .... Please tell me more about how YOU came to OUR country and now YOU want US to change OUR traditions because THEY offend YOU and YOU want US to change to suit YOU and YOUR ways. What if I told YOU ... THAT offends ME and MY COUNTRY!!

   ... NOT LONG AGO GM WAS BUILDING CARS IN FLINT MICHIGAN AND YOU COULDN'T DRINK THE WATER IN MEXICO AFTER YEARS OF HELP FROM OBAMA AND THE US GOVERNMENT GM NOW BUILDS CARS IN MEXICO AND YOU CAN'T DRINK THE WATER IN FLINT ... BOOM!

   .... Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then .... They are shocked and offended when they discover that there are actually other views.

   Monica Lewinski will not be voting for Hillary. The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

   My wife takes my paycheck & gives me an allowance. She should run for public office.

   Sometimes I wonder if my cat ever thinks about finding her biological siblings.

   Magic words that make my children disappear: 1) Bath time. 2) Who did this?!?! 3) When I was your age...

   Thanks to all the different kinds of craft beers my severe alcoholism just seems like a cool neat hobby.

   Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.