Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5225 of 5576

   messageicon The GOP like war so much that they started a civil war within their own party.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 01:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Both of these candidates belong behind bars. One in a zoo, the other in prison.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 06:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are a man, no matter what you do or don't do, there will always be at least one woman somewhere on this planet who is angry with you for a reason you know not.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 07:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: I don't know how to dance to this kind of music Beer: yes you do
←Rate | 05-10-2016 09:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the recent debate over public restrooms from this day forth, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as... Pats!
←Rate | 05-10-2016 12:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The stupidest, ugliest Presidential campaign in my entire life: House of Cards meets Sharknado...
←Rate | 05-10-2016 15:20 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't really know the difference between yoga pants & leggings and frankly, I don't care.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 17:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know about you but people make me want to say bad words.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 17:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .... I'm so old that I actually remember a time when people used to know which restroom to use!! Ahhhhh .... Those were the days ....
←Rate | 05-10-2016 20:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's this one really stupid cop that's been following me around flashing his lights ..... Doesn't the idiot notice all of the other people on this road driving the wrong way!!!! ...... Sheeeeesh
←Rate | 05-10-2016 21:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honey .... Does this big belly make me look fat?
←Rate | 05-10-2016 21:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want the self confidence of a cat.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any sandwich is a panini if you sit on it.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have my doubts about this "smart water," considering how easily it's captured and bottled.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Diet Journal, May 10th: Ate 3 saltines like a wolf pack taking down a caribou.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:07 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are no warrants out for my arrest so we could go basically anywhere on a date.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are people always kicking things to the curb? If you really wanna get rid of something kick it to the middle of the street.
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's an absolute proven FACT that Criminals commit a lot less crime .... After they've been shot!
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:51 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left