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The GOP like war so much that they started a civil war within their own party. 
Both of these candidates belong behind bars. One in a zoo, the other in prison.
If you are a man, no matter what you do or don't do, there will always be at least one woman somewhere on this planet who is angry with you for a reason you know not.
Me: I don't know how to dance to this kind of music Beer: yes you do
Due to the recent debate over public restrooms from this day forth, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as... Pats!
The stupidest, ugliest Presidential campaign in my entire life: House of Cards meets Sharknado...
I don't really know the difference between yoga pants & leggings and frankly, I don't care.
I don't know about you but people make me want to say bad words.
.... I'm so old that I actually remember a time when people used to know which restroom to use!! Ahhhhh .... Those were the days ....
There's this one really stupid cop that's been following me around flashing his lights ..... Doesn't the idiot notice all of the other people on this road driving the wrong way!!!! ...... Sheeeeesh
Honey .... Does this big belly make me look fat?
I just want the self confidence of a cat.
Any sandwich is a panini if you sit on it.
I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
Have my doubts about this "smart water," considering how easily it's captured and bottled.
Diet Journal, May 10th: Ate 3 saltines like a wolf pack taking down a caribou.
Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?
There are no warrants out for my arrest so we could go basically anywhere on a date.
Why are people always kicking things to the curb? If you really wanna get rid of something kick it to the middle of the street.
It's an absolute proven FACT that Criminals commit a lot less crime .... After they've been shot!
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