Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5221 of 5576

   messageicon Marshawn Lynch just became the first caveman to score a touchdown in Seattle playoff history.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 19:52 by @lconrad409 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thought I was inconsonant. Turns out I have irritable vowel syndrome.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 19:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just pulled up beside a police car on the highway and waved frantically for him to pull off to the side. When he did, I walked up slowly to his window and said, "Do you know why I pulled you over today, sir?" He didn't find it as amusing as me.......
←Rate | 01-08-2011 18:10 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ke$ha, Why dont you clean your face before you make a ''music'' video?
←Rate | 01-08-2011 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon everybody is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong they may be.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 17:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the next time I get pulled over, and the cop asks .. "do you know why I pulled you over" I'm going to respond with "y did you already ferget?"
←Rate | 01-08-2011 16:42 Comments (1)  


   messageicon wondering if you can do me a favor? Tell me if this rag smells like chloroform.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 16:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend just said she was leaving me because of my gross habits and childlike behavor.It shocked me so much that I almost choked on my toenail, which would have surely given up my position in the hide-and-go-seek game I was in with my imaginary frnd
←Rate | 01-08-2011 16:25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I got an iPod for Christmas, gave my son an iPad, gave my gf an iRon
←Rate | 01-08-2011 16:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My eighty year old neighbor neither agreed with or could conceive the foreign idea of the “I before E” rule isn't that weird .
←Rate | 01-08-2011 15:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty damn sure that Starbucks has no idea we're in a recession.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 15:04 by Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car keys are kicking my ass at hide and seek.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 15:00 by Dave Comments (1)  


   messageicon the perfect body.......would someone please help me get it out of my trunk though, it's really starting to smell.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 14:26 by April Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between a grizzly and a brown bear? Climb a tree. If the bear climbs after you, its a brown bear. If it knocks the tree down, its a grizzly.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 13:55 by Hot Tea Comments (2)  


   messageicon You give that porn actress an award?, she sucks! Nevermind....
←Rate | 01-08-2011 13:40 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon ladies only naked K-Y Twister tournament at my place tonight at 9pm.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 13:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you might be a redneck if You can spit without opening your mouth.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 12:45 by S.Gaby Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently it is frowned upon to walk into a bank yelling “It's my Money and I want it now!” Thanks a lot J.G Wentworth
←Rate | 01-08-2011 12:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone just told me that Obama has a concrete plan to solve all economic problems. Would you like to go iceskating? Because I'm pretty sure Hell just froze over...
←Rate | 01-08-2011 12:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have two Italian grandmothers..I am impervious to guilt.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 12:25 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left