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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I am so glad I don't hunt animals, I have no clue where gluten-free tacos live?!?!
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02-24-2016 15:34
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Neither of the Democrat candidates have the balls to be president.
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02-24-2016 16:12 by
f*ck 0bama
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Pizza deserves the same rights as burgers....
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02-24-2016 16:30
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Answering your cell when you don't recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
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02-24-2016 16:41
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Jeb Bush always looks like a substitute teacher that just got some attitude from the problem student.
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02-24-2016 21:06
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Caller ID should be more specific. It should say things like, "Needs to borrow money" or "Will whine about petty stuff".
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02-24-2016 21:07
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I've decided February is a trial month too, I'll sort out my life in March....
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02-25-2016 03:24
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I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
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02-25-2016 03:25
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What do you call a woman with no a$$hole? Divorced!
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02-25-2016 03:26
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The sex was so good even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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02-25-2016 03:27
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A single kind word or a photo of your boobs can make somebody's day.
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02-25-2016 03:28
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Ya'll been dating for three days and you're already saying "I love you" = But that's none of my business.
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02-25-2016 03:29
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The human brain is freaking amazing. It functions 24/7 from when we were born & only stops when you take a test or talk to someone attractive.
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02-25-2016 03:31
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If I hit snooze three times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I'll be out sick.
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02-25-2016 03:33
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Back in the day, there wasn't so many warning labels on things. People weren't so freaking stupid.
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02-25-2016 03:35
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Everytime this post is liked, the writer of this post gets kicked in the genitals.
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02-25-2016 04:01
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I like my coffee to be a reflection of myself. Dark, bitter, and too hot for you.
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02-25-2016 07:57
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Did anyone ever have a nightmare where your smart phone gets destroyed... and then you wake up? Best feeling ever.
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02-25-2016 08:53
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its stupid when girls say they cant find a guy, yet they ignore me. its like saying youre hungry when theres a hot dog on the ground outside
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02-25-2016 10:56
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Brace yourself, the warm weather is bringing out white girls that tan too much and think they look good, but they really look like Oompa Loompas.
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02-25-2016 14:10
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