Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon What kind of loser good for nothing idiot supports Hillary Clinton anyway?
←Rate | 12-24-2015 17:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Season's Greetings! Nice Tits!... Whatever your particular thing is, I hope it's a joyful one! :)
←Rate | 12-24-2015 18:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please stop adding noises to your songs that sound like maybe something is wrong with my car.
←Rate | 12-24-2015 22:02 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes you just have to let the anger guide you.
←Rate | 12-24-2015 22:03 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon If anyone needs help eating those cookies. Let me know.
←Rate | 12-24-2015 22:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your mum is gonna do that thing your daddy likes tonight because it's a holiday. Food for thought.
←Rate | 12-25-2015 05:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ralphie looking at leg lamp:[narrating as Adult] "Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window."
←Rate | 12-25-2015 07:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon As much as Santa came last night I bet he will sleep for a week
←Rate | 12-25-2015 08:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Santa came down the chimney, at half past three. W
←Rate | 12-25-2015 09:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus; then I saw her helping him empty his sack.
←Rate | 12-25-2015 09:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Almost time for "New year the new me, 2016 is mine bull$hit. Your life sucked last year and it will suck again in 2016
←Rate | 12-25-2015 14:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon athiests are awful quite Xmas morning
←Rate | 12-25-2015 14:58 Comments (1)  

   messageicon MY GOAL FOR 2016 IS JUST DO LIFE BETTER!
←Rate | 12-25-2015 19:58 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  

   messageicon I dream of a Kardashian-free 2016.
←Rate | 12-26-2015 04:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's hard to believe in evolution, when every time I go to Subway the person in front of me has NO IDEA HOW SUBWAY WORKS.
←Rate | 12-26-2015 08:10 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Woooooo whoooo!! Just got an email from mark zuckerberg's secratarty stating that I just won 4.5mill all they need is 3k from me to release the funds, just sent them my banking info , Aruba here I come!!! suckkkerrsss!!
←Rate | 12-26-2015 08:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate being sick at Christmas. My wife says I'm not sick, but I was just jacking it while looking at a picture of a fat nun pissing on a hot schools girl. How is that not sick.
←Rate | 12-26-2015 10:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas. It's been a long 2 1/2 months.
←Rate | 12-26-2015 10:11 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Update the force, Luke" Adobe Wan Kenobi
←Rate | 12-26-2015 10:12 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realized I'd been invited to an autopsy.
←Rate | 12-26-2015 10:13 by Aaron Comments (0)  

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