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Listen, I don't take my clothes off for anyone, even if it IS "artistic."
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02-05-2011 18:39
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When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years.
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02-05-2011 18:37 by
Marshall the Great
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Who doesn't deserve a spanking now and again?
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02-05-2011 18:36
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I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the time I was the age I am now.
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02-05-2011 18:36 by
Marshall the Great
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I love smiling at random people. Some of them smile back. Some of them get really creeped out, but that makes it worth it.
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02-05-2011 18:35 by
Marshall the Great
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If your boyfriend gets you flowers and chocolate for Valentine's Day, it's because he was saving money to get his real girlfriend jewelry.
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02-05-2011 18:34
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Sure, sure, Egypt . . you started a revolution with a facebook page. But have you stopped child abuse by changing your profile pic to a cartoon character for a week? Yeah, didn't think so. Go America!
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02-05-2011 18:10
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The older I get, the older old is.
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02-05-2011 18:00 by
JC
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don't want FOP Damn it, I'm a Dapper Dan Man!
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02-05-2011 17:20
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We live in the W.T.F generation = W-wikipedia T-twitter F-facebook ;)
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02-05-2011 16:16
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Wikileaks latest release: Wikileaks latest release: Up-Up, Down-Down, Left-Right, Left-Right, B-A, START.
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02-05-2011 16:09 by
Contra
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You can't run from your problems forever. Eventually, you'll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.
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02-05-2011 14:57 by
MelMys
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Try something spontaneous today. Like combustion.
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02-05-2011 14:39 by
Aaron
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Do you ever get half way through eating a horse and think to yourself, “I'm not as hungry as I thought I was.”
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02-05-2011 14:39 by
Aaron
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Bleeched blonde hair, fake nails, fake tan, fake eye lashes.. and yet they wonder why they can't find a "real" man.
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02-05-2011 14:13 by
Mudda
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In my opinion,nobody needs a girlfriend or boyfriend untill they get married...
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02-05-2011 14:02 by
John
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Either I made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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02-05-2011 13:59
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Q: What do you call a Packers fan holding a bottle of champagne after the Super Bowl? A: Waiter.
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02-05-2011 13:18 by
Wolf
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Super Bowl Sunday is always followed by National Call Into Work Sick Day.
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02-05-2011 12:47
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╔═══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════╗ ♥ SEX, ALCOHOL & FOOTBALL - IT'S SUPER BOWL WEEKEND!!!!!!!! ♥ ╚═══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══
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02-05-2011 12:33
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