Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon pulled my groin playing reindeer games!
←Rate | 12-06-2015 16:17 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  

   messageicon Different set of tracks. Same old train wreck.
←Rate | 12-06-2015 18:41 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey, parents of an ONLY child considering having one more,, know that I just split an M&M in half........ An M&M...... in HALF
←Rate | 12-06-2015 18:44 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't forget to wear your best clothes to church because Jesus was all about one-upping your neighbour with fancier duds.
←Rate | 12-06-2015 18:54 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:24 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon OMG .... this is the Last Time I invite Frosty the Snowman to one of my Parties ............. all he has done all Night is Mess with the Damn Thermostat ...... who does that?!
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid, We were so poor the floor wasn't even lava,,, it was just kinda warm
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:29 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The IBS drug commercial that mentions "urgent diarrhea" implies there's also a laid back, non-urgent form of diarrhea that I've never had?.... IDK
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:36 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone else see the ISIL talking about ISIL
←Rate | 12-06-2015 20:12 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Don't waste my time. That's my job.
←Rate | 12-07-2015 03:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon So I already have ADHD but I'm thinking on upgrading to ADHD 4K - it will be even more clear that I'm not paying attention to stuff
←Rate | 12-07-2015 06:28 by Gduck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid my family was so poor that if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have and ANYTHING to play with.
←Rate | 12-07-2015 07:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If one of Santa's helpers takes a picture of himself with his cell phone, is it called an "elfie"?
←Rate | 12-07-2015 07:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 65% of parenting is figuring out what the heck your kid is pointing at and then acknowledging it before he melts down.
←Rate | 12-07-2015 10:19 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mothers: Please don't tell your little girls "He's only mean because he likes you" and then wonder why they grow up and marry A-holes.
←Rate | 12-07-2015 11:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don't want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
←Rate | 12-07-2015 12:33 Comments (0)  

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