Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF

Search Messages:
Page: 5125 of 5272

   messageicon Dang Kobe, first Artest and now Matt Barnes!? Talk about keeping ur friends close and ur enemies closer! Lol
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's never a good sign when you lift a girls skirt and find a fly strip dangling down.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Suppose I should get a girlfriend. Yep, I'm almost out of cologne.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:38 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon My poor girlfriend. She's been sick every morning so far this week. I hope she starts to feel better.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:31 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I like to play "Rodeo Cowboy" with my girlfriend. Whenever we're making love and I'm behind her, I call her by a different name and see how long I can hold on.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:21 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders why all the old people talk about how far they walked to school back in the day...didnt anyone live close to the school back then
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:05 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon when the smog clears in Los Angeles, UCLA...
←Rate | 07-27-2010 19:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon breaking news! Suicidal twin kills sister by accident!
←Rate | 07-27-2010 19:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If we arent meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge?
←Rate | 07-27-2010 19:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I met a girl in a pub last night.We ended up going back to hers.After a few more drinks, we started kissing & having a bit of foreplay on the sofa.She looked at me and said, "Let's take this upstairs."I said,"Okay you grab one end and I'll grab the other.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 19:02 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  

   messageicon I was very ambitious about achieving goals until I learned you can just go to bars and lie to people.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 18:53 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon They are making a Mexican version of the ‘Sound of the Music'? Sombrer over the mountain…..
←Rate | 07-27-2010 18:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do. And if you piss him off, you go to a place full of fire and burning and torture and anguish. But he loves you. He loves you, and he needs money.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 16:32 by Tracy Comments (11)  

   messageicon The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 14:13 by craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not sure If I just pulled a groin muscle working out, but I am walking funny and I sound like Mike Tyson...
←Rate | 07-27-2010 14:09 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon One of the best feelings is cutting a person off and then having them do something to reassure you that you made the right decison.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 14:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do they put slow cashiers on the speedy checkouts?
←Rate | 07-27-2010 14:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 13:48 by craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just heard kings of Leon cancelled a show cause their lead singer took a load of pigeon s%$t right in his mouth. Haha. Take a hint, even the pigeons think ur fricking sh$#ty!! Get off the stage.....
←Rate | 07-27-2010 13:35 Comments (1)  

   messageicon She blinded me with science. By science, I mean pepper spray.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 13:19 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left