Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I don't care if it's rude to stare, you are hot, so I will stare.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 12:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook should give a breathalyzer test before you can sign in.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do dumb stuff is fired.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook — where you always have something better to do, but don't.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love you all so much right now because, well, alcohol.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It should be illegal to have humility as awesome as mine is.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was just about to say "we're all adults here" in a status update and then I came to my senses.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know what's awesome about working out? Not a damn thing.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy." -- J.C. McKay
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook has allowed me to bring my "He's a distraction to the rest of the class" from grade school to a global scale.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I may have been born without the "wait, you shouldn't do that!" gene.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why can we develop silencers for handguns but not vacuums?
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want is to find a cool person to hang out with until I drop dead. Not a lot to ask.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Computers are so advanced that they are almost human; well, except for the fact that they don't blame their mistakes on other computers.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is like a doughnut. You're either in the dough or in the hole.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 10:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anybody can make a mistake. It takes real dedication to make all of them.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 10:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 10:57 Comments (0)  

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