Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I was walking through the cemetery the other day, and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." he said, "No, just taking a sh*t"...
←Rate | 07-02-2010 10:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not available right now, please leave a message after the period.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 10:03 by mohammad Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you guys ever noticed the months July, August, September, October and November spell out the name JASON???? Have I discovered something kinda like the Da Vinci Code??!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 09:40 by Gr`apes Comments (0)  

   messageicon I watched the new Supreme Court nominee on C-SPAN yesterday and honestly think he has the worst haircut I've ever seen.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 09:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just running a bath ... after that I may take the shower for a walk ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶
←Rate | 07-02-2010 08:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon love Independence Day! But it pales in comparison to my Dependence Day, that is the day I decided to depend on God and not myself. Talk about true freedom!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 07:20 Comments (2)  

   messageicon guys are like dogs, put them on a leash and they'll be chassin every puss in sight!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 06:59 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  

   messageicon Andrew Garfield is the new and improved spider man, this one shoots web from his asshole too!!!!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 05:59 by pz Comments (0)  

   messageicon strongly abides by the motto: "Safety third."
←Rate | 07-02-2010 04:51 by Ricard78 Comments (0)  

   messageicon OMG I just wasted my time watching the twilight series :love triangle between a depressed girl a 110 yr old vampire and a werewolf !
←Rate | 07-02-2010 04:22 by pz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Talk like a angel, act like a angel yet a devil in disguise!!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 04:04 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do we sleep in church, but stay awake through a 2 hour movie?? Why is it so hard to talk to God, but so easy to gossip??Jesus said "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny YOU in front of my Father.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 03:59 by SAM RABEE Comments (4)  

   messageicon Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 03:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Foot + your teeth + Contact at a high velocity = Awesome
←Rate | 07-02-2010 02:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I Dont Care if he's a werewolf, its snowing, and the least he could do is put on a f*cking shirt!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 01:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I took my girlfriend to see the new Twilight movie today. It was bad. The Gulf Of Mexico is in better shape than that movie's plotline.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 01:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon When your a standup comedian your not going to make everyone laugh. When your up there on stage half the audience should be laughing, and half the audience should be horrified.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 01:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wikipedia has its own wikipedia page. Can you say redundant? If you have to wikipedia wikipedia, you have no buisness being on wikipedia.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 01:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someone said I met Jim Beam last night but I don't recall.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 01:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Loves the smell of gun powder, thank you Chinese people..
←Rate | 07-02-2010 00:23 by Wolf Comments (0)  

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