Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 10:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine
←Rate | 06-09-2010 10:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Aspire to inspire before you expire.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 09:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ever notice no matter how hard you try, you still say Reese's PEECIES instead of pieces?
←Rate | 06-09-2010 09:56 by Sweettooth Mcgillicutty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Global warming will not kill us. It will just adjust the food web so that every other animal dies and we resort to eating each other. That's when the zombie apocolypse comes in...
←Rate | 06-09-2010 08:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I feel unproductive and unaccomplished, I have to remind myself that "Windows 7 was my idea." That always lifts me up a little.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 08:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon With all the police and medical shows taking over primetime TV, you figured one could skip all of college to be in the field of criminal justice and medical.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 07:39 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never question a woman's mood. Question her motive.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 07:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon my mother always taught me to lick it before I stick it
←Rate | 06-09-2010 05:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon you're allways late, your work is slack, you bit#h and wine behind my back, a 2hr lunch 4u is quick, and twice a week you call in sick, i've hated you since the day you were hired, log off facebook are your fat a#s is fired
←Rate | 06-09-2010 04:33 Comments (1)  

   messageicon 99% of black men enjoy having sex in the shower, the other 2% hav'nt been in prison yet
←Rate | 06-09-2010 04:22 Comments (4)  

   messageicon NXT 4 Life! They're taking over!
←Rate | 06-09-2010 03:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The ball got bigger, then it hit me
←Rate | 06-09-2010 02:08 by Blake Perry Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves life; but life thinks we should see other people.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 01:10 by Peebs Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows one thing about the speed of light -- It always gets here way too early in the morning.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 00:36 by RON \"\" Comments (0)  

   messageicon Finds that the best place to pick up women is at the Immigration Office.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 23:13 by Tracy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not saying we ought to misbehave, but we should at least look as though we could.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 22:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do camels think their feet looks like pussies?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 21:36 by bubba Comments (0)  

   messageicon I mix Corona with water and it gets me drunk... mixed Wine with water and it gets me drunk... I mix Tequila with water and gets me drunk again... therefore I've reached the conclusion that water is bad for me...
←Rate | 06-08-2010 20:47 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many personality flaws are now treatable mental illnesses... My insurance denied me coverage, apparently being an @sshole is a preexisting condition.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 20:32 by Joser Comments (0)  

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