Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Your Honor, please direct the witness to answer the question. I'll ask it once again. Why are you hitting yourself?
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:16 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon The gang war between the squirrels and the raccoons must be escalating, based on the number of drive-by victims on the side of the road.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:15 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon Man it's Hotttt!!! I am sweating worse than Al Sharpton on Jeopardy.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Condoms are like newspapers....sure they are filled with good stuff today but you sure don't want them around tomorrow...
←Rate | 06-24-2010 22:20 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon A woman will always forgive & forget......But she'll never let you forget that she has forgiven & forgotten...
←Rate | 06-24-2010 21:50 by Sumeet Comments (0)  

   messageicon it's so hot the jalapenos in my garden were all standing over in the shade.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 21:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's better to have a gun and not need it than to not have a gun and need it
←Rate | 06-24-2010 19:54 by one Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can everyone who has an iPhone 4 stop talking about it until the rest of the world has them? Thanks.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 19:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon my head says no, my heart says yes an my stomach say cheesebruger no pickles, with jus a lil bit of mustard...
←Rate | 06-24-2010 18:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon bragging about having sex with you wife is like bragging that I just gave myself the best handjob
←Rate | 06-24-2010 17:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Relationships are like cul-de-sacs once you get deep in you have to make a U-Turn
←Rate | 06-24-2010 16:42 by KD Comments (0)  

   messageicon Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 16:06 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  

   messageicon Will the person who keeps the electronic eye attatched to the toilets real sensative, please quit. I want to use the bathroom, not a bidet.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 15:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon never play leapfrog with a unicorn
←Rate | 06-24-2010 15:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Husband gets "I Love You" tattooed on his penis. He goes home to show his wife. His wife says "There you go again trying to put words in my mouth"
←Rate | 06-24-2010 15:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Love is best when it overflows freely from the heart, rather than you having to reach in to get your fill.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 14:51 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to give my pillow some head :0) and my sheets some ass.!! G"night!!!
←Rate | 06-24-2010 13:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Forget a 5 star chick... I rather have a 6 flag chick... More flags more fun!!!
←Rate | 06-24-2010 13:18 by DAVID Comments (0)  

   messageicon so we are all in the basement watching Dora. And, Dora and Boots can not figure out how to get pass this big red line when Max (10 yr old) says, "It's the border Dora! You are not supposed to cross it!"
←Rate | 06-24-2010 12:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Attention bullies: if you're looking for lunch money, there are tons of nerds hoarding around outside Apple Stores right now.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 12:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  

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