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If reading this status message caused premature death, you may be entitled to compensation. Please call our law offices if this has happened to you
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02-08-2011 18:30 by
GrimReaper
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Its so cold and the snow is so deep it wouldn't shock me if I found Megatron when I shovel.
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02-08-2011 17:45
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I guess today has been pretty good. I haven't had to slap one single person yet....
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02-08-2011 17:20 by
scottyp
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You guys ever notice that the crazy girls on every season Bachelor kinda look the same? I don't know maybe CRAZY looks the same on everyone.
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02-08-2011 17:15 by
kgen
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currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery......who has something nice to say?
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02-08-2011 16:35 by
TMac
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"Egypt.......please don't destroy the pryamids. We won't rebuild them." -- The Jews
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02-08-2011 16:32
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They say the world of relationships is an endless sea, but sometimes you go to bed with a mermaid, the next morning you wake up with a whale
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02-08-2011 16:23 by
SEAN
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Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
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02-08-2011 15:16 by
Rashad Hammoud
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I've been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….
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02-08-2011 15:14 by
Rashad Hammoud
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Guys, it's time to start working on those apologies for Valentine's Day.
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02-08-2011 15:13 by
Rashad Hammoud
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When I die...the one thing I hope God says to me when I get to heaven......"Don't worry.....she's not coming".
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02-08-2011 14:07 by
gygi
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too avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
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02-08-2011 13:38 by
Prince Shawn
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Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
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02-08-2011 13:37 by
Prince Shawn
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found out this morning that frying bacon while naked may not be as good of an idea as it sounds!
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02-08-2011 13:34 by
Prince Shawn
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Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart
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02-08-2011 13:33 by
Prince Shawn
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can't seem to find East Virgina on any of the maps he is looking at
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02-08-2011 13:33 by
Prince Shawn
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wonders how different the world would be if bad and stupid people came with warning labels
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02-08-2011 13:32 by
Prince Shawn
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Men regret the girls they didn't sleep with while Women regret the guys they did.
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02-08-2011 13:31 by
Shawn
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asked to leave from a house party for being to rowdy. Solution.....I asked to use the bathroom and upperdecked their toilet.
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02-08-2011 13:03
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just finished taking care of my bills...its easy when they are paperless, just hit delete
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02-08-2011 12:45
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