Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon if I wanted an assholes opinion I would have farted
←Rate | 07-29-2010 18:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you wouldn't wear your GF shirt that has rhinestones and glitter, why would it be ok to wear one that has some other guys name on it that reads Ed Hardy?
←Rate | 07-29-2010 17:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon still amazed that the technologically challenged are drawn like moths to a flame towards the Self-Check out Lanes at every large Grocery.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 17:12 by brianva66 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 16:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My seatbelt makes me feel so secure ... Like nothing can get me... I love how it protects me so..... ;)
←Rate | 07-29-2010 16:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My dog can lick his own balls. Seriously, I don't care how many times he makes those puppy dog eyes at me.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 14:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its time for a "It was one of those kinda days at work today." beer.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 14:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon there a cure for being sick & tired of being sick & tired???
←Rate | 07-29-2010 14:09 by @Steady | Tags: Filtered Comments (1)  

   messageicon The most disturbing part of those Orkin commercials is that the people seem used to speaking with 6 foot tall insects.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 14:01 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whats better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 13:58 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today's Kama Sutra position is The Underpaid Employee. It involves bending over backwards for the boss while kissing his a*s at the same time
←Rate | 07-29-2010 13:32 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon woman are magic. They can get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard
←Rate | 07-29-2010 12:54 by justin cyder Comments (0)  

   messageicon you know you're having a busy day when you can't find time to update your Facebook status.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon its the weekend so live it up, charge it down, puff it off, smash a line, blow out blind and destroy your mind!!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:51 by SUPA SAM Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎...Is it just me or is Ed Hardy and Affliction in an all out war with each other to make the douchiest t-shirt possible. These things are like 95% rhinestones and glitter, these shirts scream I touch myself when I watch Brokeback Mountain.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:42 by JoeyTomatoes Comments (8)  

   messageicon You ever seen someone so gay that you feared for his safety!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:37 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love sleep so much that its the first thing I think about when I wake up....
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:35 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon WTF? You look like you've been slapped by the Devil....!!!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:31 by @Steady Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm watching one of those shows where an ugly dude preaches and pretends to heal people. It's called "Oprah"
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 10:24 Comments (0)  

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