Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon woman are magic. They can get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard
←Rate | 07-29-2010 12:54 by justin cyder Comments (0)  

   messageicon you know you're having a busy day when you can't find time to update your Facebook status.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon its the weekend so live it up, charge it down, puff it off, smash a line, blow out blind and destroy your mind!!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:51 by SUPA SAM Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎...Is it just me or is Ed Hardy and Affliction in an all out war with each other to make the douchiest t-shirt possible. These things are like 95% rhinestones and glitter, these shirts scream I touch myself when I watch Brokeback Mountain.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:42 by JoeyTomatoes Comments (8)  

   messageicon You ever seen someone so gay that you feared for his safety!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:37 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love sleep so much that its the first thing I think about when I wake up....
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:35 by geez Comments (0)  

   messageicon WTF? You look like you've been slapped by the Devil....!!!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:31 by @Steady Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm watching one of those shows where an ugly dude preaches and pretends to heal people. It's called "Oprah"
←Rate | 07-29-2010 11:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 10:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can get your appetite elsewhere, as long as you eat at home.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Woke up naked in a Quick Lube. I'm on the lift. No sign of my car. This can't be good.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:43 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I know you lifes not that interesting you only took those pictures to post on facebook.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you beat the odds , they all knew you could do it.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:13 by L Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're in the ghetto when the liquor stores have posters of Tanqueray, Black & Milds, and signs for a 2 piece chicken dinner special in the window.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:02 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon he really wants to control the television remotely but is unable to locate the device that fulfills that desire.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 08:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 08:24 by craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 08:23 by craig Comments (0)  

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