Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it hit the bottom of his throat. Ever think about that? No, you only think about yourself.

   I hope snow storm Jonas doesn't bring his other 2 brothers

   Alcohol and denial are cheaper than therapy. . .

   The snow storm is way too white, I think it's time to boycott.

   Ladies of the east coast.... you wanted 8+ inches, here you go.

   Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.

   The American bald eagle is no longer America's National Bird...it is now Obama's middle finger

   I'm so broke, I owe myself two bucks

   These aren't wrinkles on my face, they're road maps

   Was visiting New York and asked someone, "How do I get to Carnegie hall?" The said, "Practice man, practice."

   It was so cold today, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pocket.

   Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn't have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.

   While drunk me would love to grab your butt...sober me would probably agree

   The hardest thing I've ever done is uninstall Dota 2!

   Am I the only one who gets disappointed pulling up next to a Kia Soul and there isn't a hamster driving it. . .

   If you are thinking about getting married but are unsure, ask yourself "What would Jesus do?" Then remember that Jesus was never married.

   Snowstorm so white Jada Pinkett-Smith is boycotting it.

   still can't believe there are Obama supporters out there.

   FACT: I prefer Dairy Queen Blizzards to Jonas blizzards.

   I don't know why it's necessary to get a glass dirty when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.