Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Given the choice between Parkinsons and Alzheimers, I would prefer Parkinsons. I would rather spill a little beer rather than forget where I put it.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 10:19 by bigedusw Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so broke... People in Haiti are having a benefit for me !!
←Rate | 07-21-2010 08:33 by Magic Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope everything I say doesn't sound like a sexual euphemism... touch wood.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 06:53 by Mr Alpha Bits Comments (0)  

   messageicon I failed my history test today. Apparently, "three centuries of inbreeding" is not the correct answer to "how did the american people evolve?"
←Rate | 07-21-2010 06:42 Comments (2)  

   messageicon saw on the news a black couple had a white baby. it wouldn't happen in China because two Wong's don't make a white.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 04:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if a fat girl falls in the forest and nobody is there to see it ...... do the trees laugh?
←Rate | 07-21-2010 04:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon was woken up again last night by the bulimic girl next door. I banged on the wall and shouted, "For f***s sake, keep it down!".
←Rate | 07-21-2010 04:07 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon Worst thing to feel during a proctology exam ???...Two hands on your shoulders
←Rate | 07-21-2010 02:13 by d ron Comments (1)  

   messageicon bored of thinking of funny things to write in status and isn't going to bother this time
←Rate | 07-21-2010 01:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not a doctor, but I play one in the emergency room until security shows up.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 00:13 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon would be more willing to accept people for who they are if they were more like how I wanted them to be.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 00:12 by kittycat Comments (0)  

   messageicon planning a vacation and is leaning towards Pisa.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 00:11 by Kittycat Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is no SPF strong enough to sheild you from the sheer awesomeness that radiates from my ass!
←Rate | 07-20-2010 23:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ʇɐ s,oɥ ǝɥʇ ǝɹǝɥʍ˙˙˙ uoıʇısod ʇɥƃıɹ ǝɥʇ uı ʍou ɯɐ ı' ʞo
←Rate | 07-20-2010 23:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just go ahead and sneeze cause my presence just blessed you
←Rate | 07-20-2010 23:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves to chase his pets with a vacuum cleaner
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:49 by Xanotin Comments (0)  

   messageicon tried to join a Tourette's support group, but they told me to piss off
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:20 by charliebarley Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if Jewish doctors get paid for doing circumcisions, or just get to keep the tips.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:20 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon discovered today that when a police officer says, "Ma'am, your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?", you should never respond with "Officer, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:19 by kittykat Comments (0)  

   messageicon had some Korean meatballs last night. They were the dog's bollocks.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 22:16 by kittykat Comments (0)  

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