Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon thinks the BP executive management team that's responsible for the day to day running of the company should be the ones cleaning the oil spill!
←Rate | 06-07-2010 21:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if the broom fits...RIDE IT!
←Rate | 06-07-2010 20:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon get a life is your only copyright
←Rate | 06-07-2010 20:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon you're allways late, your work is slack, you bit#h and wine behind my back, a 2hr lunch 4u is quick, and twice a week you call in sick, i've hated you since the day you were hired, get to work are your fat a#s is fired
←Rate | 06-07-2010 20:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You are so pathetic that Tom wont even be friends with you on myspace.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 19:48 by Tracy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Next Week is not good for me the Jonas Brothers are in town
←Rate | 06-07-2010 17:12 by Next Week is not good for me the Jonas Brothers are in town Comments (0)  

   messageicon A girl without curves is like going on a road trip with no turns, you get where you're going quickly but the ride is boring as hell!!!
←Rate | 06-07-2010 15:29 by Señor Frog Comments (0)  

   messageicon The BP president said that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, "Don't worry, my car is fine."
←Rate | 06-07-2010 15:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ahh..Monday, so we meet again... You dirty b*tch
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's so adorable how MySpace keeps sending me reminders to come back.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Marriage is like a casino... You go in all excited and optimistic, you stumble out broke, drunk and talking to yourself.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ice. Bank. Mice. Elf. Say it out loud.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm a middle-of-the-road kind of guy. Maybe that's why I get honked at all the time.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm feeling adventurous, so I'm going to go to sleep and try to dodge Freddy Krueger. Wish me luck!
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are two sides to every argument, but I don't have time to listen to yours.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think that this morning, every side of the bed is wrong.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 13:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that the inventor of the auto-response phone system should be put to death - but they have to choose their own death from a menu of options.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 13:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear vending machine guy who decided to put the Hostess cupcakes behind a granola bar: Your plan might have been to make me opt for a healthier choice, but all you did was sell me the cupcakes at twice the price. You good sir, are an asshole.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 13:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Holocaust jokes aren't funny, Anne Frankly, I won't stand for it ...
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Monday has been calling me and just breathing heavily into the phone until I hang up...
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:53 by Joser Comments (0)  

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