Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Twilight showed me it's okay to date underage girls if you're a 107-year-old vampire
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:32 by Pineapple Comments (0)  

   messageicon passed a door in the stairwell with the sign: "Door is Alarmed." I told it to relax, everything is going to be okay.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:00 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon A man who is "of sound mind" is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon I do not look back, the past is over, what's done is done, I thank god for what his given me and ask him to guide my ways towards a life of happiness ♥
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:44 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  

   messageicon Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:43 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is the most important.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon We are sinners, but we can strive to be good!!!!
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:30 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat. Thank god I dont have a house!
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's better to live one day as a lion, than a hundred as a sheep
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Democrats finally came forward and ruined Chelsey Clinton's life with the news that Janet Reno is actually her father.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 07:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hopefully its called ECLIPSE because they are gonna play a better movie over it
←Rate | 06-30-2010 07:18 by venom856 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A moment of silence for all our pu$$y whips bro's who are enduring the ECLIPSE premier!
←Rate | 06-30-2010 04:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My car is leaking oil. Can I blame BP?
←Rate | 06-30-2010 03:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jack & Jill.. went up the hill 2 fetch a pale of water, god knows wht happened.. they came down wid a daughter !!
←Rate | 06-30-2010 03:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon World's Shortest Fairy Tale: There once was a man who asked a woman to marry him. She said, "No." and he lived happily ever after.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 03:08 by RoN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Insomnia: Inability to sleep until it is time to get up!
←Rate | 06-30-2010 01:31 by sellers Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela
←Rate | 06-30-2010 01:21 by sellers Comments (1)  

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