Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5094 of 5273

   messageicon heard some thunder yesterday & it wasn't even raining. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that Stevie Nicks is full of crap.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 09:57 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders who wants to a fairy princess when it's so much more fun to be the wicked queen
←Rate | 08-09-2010 09:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon gathering Kardashians to throw at you.
←Rate | 08-09-2010 09:07 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I miss you so much,I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you!
←Rate | 08-09-2010 04:21 by Razya Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar
←Rate | 08-09-2010 04:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Middle school- "shut up, it was a dare!" High school- "shut up, I was drunk!"
←Rate | 08-09-2010 02:00 by Austinfish11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember the good old days when Nigerians were just scamming people on the internet...
←Rate | 08-09-2010 00:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got a text saying... I'm Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good. Umm... you wanna come over?
←Rate | 08-09-2010 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snooki look like a retarded version of Kim kardashian
←Rate | 08-08-2010 23:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon MSN has an article asking "is it time to break up with your doctor"? Any time you feel two hands on your shoulders during your rectal exam.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 22:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Tibetian Mastiff was sold in China for 600,000 dollars. You can buy the same dog in Vietnam for 5 dollars and it includes a side of fries and a drink.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 21:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every successful man is a woman. She's behind him because he's running away from the crazy b1tch as fast as he can.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 18:26 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in the work canteen the other day and started shaking salt all over my chicken. My work colleague looked over and said, "Would you like some chicken to go with that salt?" I replied, "Would you like some laughter to go with that joke?"
←Rate | 08-08-2010 18:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People learn from history... which is why you should always delete it.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 18:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
←Rate | 08-08-2010 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said that she's going to leave me. But before she does, she is going to make sure that my bank balance is $0. That's nice of her, paying off my overdraft.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aplogizing is like "whiteout". It covers the problem, but its still there.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 17:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's chug on down to Mambie-Pambie Land where we can MAYBE get you some Self-Confidence.... YOU JackWagon!!! (TISSUE??)
←Rate | 08-08-2010 17:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I get married I want it to be for all the right reasons, like needing health insurance and getting a tax break.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 15:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally finished carving GOOGLE EARTH CAN SUCK IT into the a massive cliff. Now... we wait.
←Rate | 08-08-2010 15:38 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left