Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon won't break your heart, but I will stunt your growth and limit your potential.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 00:36 by randomchick Comments (0)  

   messageicon adopted a white dog the other day and named him Stains. Now I can yell "Come Stains, Come Stains" out my front door!
←Rate | 07-29-2010 00:31 by ** Comments (0)  

   messageicon not stalking you. By the way, you are out of sugar.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 00:02 by shoesan Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I grow up I want to be a pillow ...they get to lie in bed and get head all night
←Rate | 07-28-2010 23:31 by sam rabee Comments (0)  

   messageicon my girlfriend just started smoking. Should I slow down and use a lubricant?
←Rate | 07-28-2010 23:04 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
←Rate | 07-28-2010 22:46 by Soumare Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
←Rate | 07-28-2010 22:45 by Soumare Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook.........its not a website, its a lifestyle
←Rate | 07-28-2010 22:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon really wonders why if Jimmy cracked corn and nobody cared....why did they write a song about him?
←Rate | 07-28-2010 21:45 by mullerman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mistakes are made from time to time. Without them, most of us would have never been born.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 21:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Is it just me, or did former First Lady Barbara Bush remind you of George Washington? Just askin'...
←Rate | 07-28-2010 21:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bull fighting in Spain has been outlawed due to protests from animal rights activist. Not to worry, the bulls will have a new career when people can once again enjoy them. The Arby's 5 for 5.95 deal.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 21:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I guess having voices in your head isn't so bad if it's James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 20:06 by mat2sm00th Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like that Dollar General store because you don't have to get all dressed up like you do when you go to Walmart.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 19:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 19:28 by craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 19:27 by craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
←Rate | 07-28-2010 19:27 by craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Follow your heart" is the biggest bunch of bullsh*t Ive ever heard!!!
←Rate | 07-28-2010 17:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Things are always better when you get a pat on the Butt!!!!
←Rate | 07-28-2010 17:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall"
←Rate | 07-28-2010 16:43 by HM Comments (0)  

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