Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Other countries would fear us more if, instead of a nickname for a holding cell, the "Drunk Tank" were an actual weapon.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 15:40 by Leeferd Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I see that one mattress commercial that attempts to gross you out by saying your mattress doubles in weight after 8 years due to dust mites, sweat and dead skin. I always think to myself, why leave out the big contributing factor? Happy Endings
←Rate | 06-23-2010 15:25 by Raymond Comments (0)  

   messageicon Love is like a soccer ball, everybody runs to have that ball, and when they have it they kick it away..
←Rate | 06-23-2010 15:02 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon rattlesnakes and condoms. 2 things I dont fu*k with.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 14:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dont buy condoms at BP gas stations, they may burst and result in a leak...
←Rate | 06-23-2010 14:36 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how mad are you?
←Rate | 06-23-2010 13:58 by Shashant Comments (0)  

   messageicon Usually when a President has a highway named after him he is already dead. I guess the people of Orlando have ESP?
←Rate | 06-23-2010 13:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, when a man tells you that you're one in a million, don't get too flattered. That means there is about 6,500 more of you on Earth.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 10:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon all about sharing...I'll eat the hotdog if you eat the bun
←Rate | 06-23-2010 09:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon eating carrots and watching porn. Something *seriously* went wrong with my weekend
←Rate | 06-23-2010 09:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon there's no "I" in gang bang
←Rate | 06-23-2010 08:33 by levon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Funny....I don't remember eating corn...?
←Rate | 06-23-2010 07:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon - Thankfull its only blood. Thought I was a tomato!!!
←Rate | 06-23-2010 03:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ask me what I like about you, 15 drinks from now .
←Rate | 06-23-2010 01:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pushed humpty Dumpty and also was the reason Jack fell down and broke his crown. While I was at it I stole the cookies from the cookie jar and let the dogs out. So there........
←Rate | 06-23-2010 01:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can't say your girlfriend is a multi-tasker but she likes gangbangs!
←Rate | 06-22-2010 23:13 by mhenry Comments (0)  

   messageicon Heavy, stationary objects keep running into my bare feet...How many times do I have to stub my toes before these things learn to get out of my way?
←Rate | 06-22-2010 22:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't talk about yourself so much in front of some friends... they do it when you leave
←Rate | 06-22-2010 21:32 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon If they made hats the size of some peoples brains they would be wearing a peanut shell.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 20:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When things sound reasonable ~ its time to up my medication.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 20:46 Comments (0)  

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