Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon 26 years later,, and we still haven't touched this
←Rate | 08-15-2015 16:49 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like my women like I like my turtles,,,,Helpless when they're on their back... Bill Cosby
←Rate | 08-15-2015 17:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your girlfriend asks you to role play 'doctors and nurses' in the bedroom, don't diagnose her with down-syndrome. Trust me on this.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 05:54 by Nipper Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would describe my dancing style as “Oh my god, is he having a seizure?”
←Rate | 08-16-2015 10:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am looking for contributors to the go F#ck yourself foundation I am starting. . .
←Rate | 08-16-2015 10:53 by JAB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Secret admirer when you're young. Stalker when you're older.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 14:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon -Monday -Tuesday -Wednesday -Thursday -Blink -Monday.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 14:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Starbucks: Sometimes you wanna go where everybody misspells your name.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 14:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your new friends calls himself 'The Wizard', there's a good chance he likes Lord of the Rings. If your new friend calls himself, 'The Grand Wizard', time to get a different new friend.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 18:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 19:49 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 19:50 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  

   messageicon Thank you Facebook for options like: Block, Unfollow and Turn of chat for only some friends.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 01:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that's where I unfollowed you.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 13:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sex so good that she forgets about Dre.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 13:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I had a dollar for everytime I was called a whore, I wouldn't have to suck dcik for crack anymore.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 14:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My phone just autocorrected "Haha" to "Jaja" so I guess I'm Mexican now.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 18:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A rocket launcher but for all the idiots on the highway.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 18:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just once I'd like a man to approach me at a bar and say 'come with me if you want to live'.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 18:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What are people asking Meatloaf to do 'for love'?
←Rate | 08-17-2015 18:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon FYI ladies: I've been to fb jail twice this week. So if you're into bad boys get at me. But not tonight cause I have knitting class.
←Rate | 08-17-2015 18:39 Comments (0)  

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