Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I was googled Whine of the month club, and Wisconsin came up.

   Eskimos supposedly have 52 words for snow. That's weird, so does Charlie Sheen.

   The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail...

   Who would have thought that giving an actor with a history of drug addiction $2 million an episode would have turned out badly?

   It's official I've finally been over notified.

   Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.

   Deleting all emails as they come in without reading them. Like a boss.

   Apparently Cheryl Cole must drop her accent for the X-Factor to succeed in America. I reckon the show would work better if she dropped her knickers instead.

   I've been trying to teach my mate how to play golf recently but the problem seems to be his drive. His wife stands on it and doesn't let us out.

   Nobody touch me for 5 minutes and give me a cigarette...I just filled my tank at the gas station

   Then the psychiatrist's gave me the good news: I was going to have a disorder named after me..

   The problem with us beautiful people is that most people hate us.

   Facebook keeps suggesting me the friends... You may know.. But when I try adding them it again says do you know them...??

   I hate it when I go to sleep and forget to turn my swagg off.

   BBC News: "Ice Cream Company Launches Breast Milk Flavoured Ice Cream". I wonder if they will be doing raspberry nipple.

   I'd like you more if facebook didn't update me on all your stupid thoughts……I said to myself….

   just realized how valuable photoshop can be...when you need to pin something on your boss...like a donkey…for blackmail…

   Kudos on the shaved balls, but try longer gym shorts next time….

   believes there are two great rules in life: 1.) Never tell everything at once.

   Dose the show glee remind anyone of the Mickey Mouse clubhouse?