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SEAN Funny Status Messages
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Page: 5 of 14
So if Bruce/Catline Jenner goes missing, will they put the picture on a carton of Half & Half?
78
15
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07-22-2015 10:19 by
SEAN
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plot twist........ it WAS my first rodeo
12
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07-15-2015 15:56 by
SEAN
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Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas.
34
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07-15-2015 15:55 by
SEAN
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If you're missing a necklace just remember Dave Navarro probably has it.
17
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07-15-2015 15:55 by
SEAN
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I need to slap the Pharmacist that put my pet's prescription in the same amber vial as mine, but first...I need to piss on this mailbox.
22
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07-15-2015 15:53 by
SEAN
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I think Lebron misunderstood coach when he was told to share the ball more...
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06-13-2015 07:55 by
SEAN
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Opened the bathroom cupboard and a bunch of my wifes feminine hygiene products fell out on me. it was a Tampede...
34
14
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04-21-2015 08:25 by
SEAN
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my neighbor stopped me while I was mowing to brag about his new mower, I said thats nice and all but I still have a bigger deck. ..
21
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04-19-2015 23:02 by
SEAN
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Curb alert! Sabra hummus and Blue Bell ice cream varieties
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8
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04-09-2015 13:50 by
Sean
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the wife just woke me up and told me to quit snoring, I said I never snore I just dream I'm a motorcycle. ..
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03-19-2015 23:02 by
SEAN
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The black really brings out your eyes- Ray Rice pick up line...
7
6
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02-18-2015 07:51 by
SEAN
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There's a person out there for everyone, but for some women that person is 6 cats....
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02-18-2015 07:49 by
SEAN
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When I was growing up mom would wake up early to cut my crust off my sandwhich before I went to school, crust was my favorite part- she really hated me....
10
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02-18-2015 07:45 by
SEAN
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I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
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02-18-2015 07:43 by
SEAN
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It's nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
22
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01-22-2015 11:26 by
SEAN
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Didn't even finish microwaving this Lean Cuisine before the suicide prevention hotline called me..
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01-22-2015 11:23 by
SEAN
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When I said make yourself at home I meant go wash my dishes.
17
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01-22-2015 11:18 by
SEAN
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Just once I'd like a doctor to tell me I'm not getting enough beer in my diet.
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01-22-2015 11:15 by
SEAN
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Divorce---When being wrong every day for being alive isn't working for you.
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01-16-2015 08:33 by
SEAN
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If you want some alone time, tell your husband that you're going to watch the Bachelor. Even if you're not.
15
5
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01-16-2015 08:32 by
SEAN
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