Easiest way out of Jury duty, after the States Attorney tells you he/she has no more questions, thank them for their time, fist pump them and say “ May the force be with you”
At first I was excited that the Bulls game got pushed back, but when I found out Oprah's s\Secrets was not a new line of plus size lingerie I have to admit I was disappointed
They say the end of the world is very near, So what if Saturday is the end of the world? If I get sent straight to hell its going to take me at least a week to realize that I'm not still at work.
Dear neighbors, If you hear a lot of screaming and cussing please do not worry and/or call the police. I am cleaning out my garage and have Arachnophobia
the moment when your channel surfing and power rangers pop up and you think to yourself wow I used to watch a group of teenagers in tights beat up people in monster outfits
A lot of people constantly complain about Monday's, Tuesday's and Wednesday's being the worst part of the week, I have discovered that with the right mix of Jack Daniels and sleeping pills those days no longer have to happen.