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Page: 5 of 14
When I go swimming I can feel people dressing me with their eyes.
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08-19-2019 09:31 by
SEAN
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Nice try, Henry Winkler, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunningham’s garage for like ten years.
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04-11-2014 15:51 by
SEAN
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I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
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09-15-2011 14:01 by
SEAN
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I had a headache so I took a pill that gave me chest pains, dry mouth, restless leg syndrome & explosive diarrhea. But hey, headache's gone.
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01-09-2012 15:45 by
SEAN
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Lindsay Lohan should at least have to spend as much time in jail as we have to spend hearing about it.
60
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11-30-2011 11:23 by
SEAN
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Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
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11-01-2011 16:22 by
SEAN
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Not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off everything and let the problem solve itself
38
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03-08-2011 13:29 by
SEAN
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“You’re beautiful the way you are, ladies. Just kidding, you need to buy this stuff.” – commercials
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08-20-2013 11:08 by
SEAN
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Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
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11-18-2011 14:54 by
SEAN
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Always carry $100,000 cash on you at all times in case you ever feel like getting a sandwich from an airport.
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11-18-2011 14:59 by
SEAN
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Facebook is not so bad once you block your family and friends.
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06-13-2013 09:09 by
SEAN
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"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I'm doing nothing right now... it's totally possible.
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02-02-2012 14:28 by
SEAN
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No I didn't want a receipt but now that you've asked me I'm suspicious, so yes, I will have that receipt now please.
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01-24-2012 17:37 by
SEAN
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anything is pocket sized if your ass is big enough
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12-19-2011 16:57 by
SEAN
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Why isnt there any black friday deals at the liquir store....
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11-23-2012 08:27 by
SEAN
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Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
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08-06-2012 11:16 by
SEAN
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0
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If you are under house arrest but live in a mobile home can you go anywhere you want?
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11-29-2011 09:49 by
SEAN
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0
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Homeless people wouldn't be half as poor if they didn't waste all of their money on sharpies and cardboard.
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12-18-2011 10:33 by
SEAN
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Those people who think that a woman's place is in the kitchen obviously never had my ex-wife's cooking....
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06-27-2011 08:19 by
SEAN
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Congrats to Jay Cutler, soon to be Dad... Just goes to show that he cant get protection on or off the field.
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01-24-2012 17:33 by
SEAN
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