Yaj Funny Status Messages

   curiosity overpowers knowledge.. Now I have a midget transvestite prostitue knocking on my door

   brought my date a footlong sub thinking it would score me major points, but apparently I went to the wrong jared . . .

   If stalking was considered a romantic gesture I'd probably be married by now.

   Wayne Brady honoring black history month is like Nickelback inducting Zeppelin into the Rock n Roll hall of fame

   I just found a whisker in my general tso chicken

   What does a fat musIim say? ALLAH SNACKBAR!

   "Knock Knock! .... "Who's there" . . . .Not the Malaysian airplane pilot

   Muhammad Ali vs. Michael J. Fox - The Quickest Game of Jenga Ever

   As long as I work with somebody named Mike, Wednesdays will never be boring.

   If you ever think that English is not a shtty language, just remember that read and lead rhyme, and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead

   wonders what would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

   doesn't get why everyone blames the craziness on the "full moon".. the moon is ALWAYS there, you just dont see it all the time

   I'm not hungover, I'm just tired from a long night of drinking

   you should Y0u.Tube "warriors of goja", sit back, and enjoy.

   Combined "no problem" and "your welcome" to an upset customer ... its not good saying "your problem" at the end of a phone call .. whoops

   Casey Anthony wants to be out of jail by Halloween, so she can dress up as a woman who didn't kill her baby

   in bed by 9, and home by 11..

   thinks people with parkinsons just have a good song stuck in their head

   "The term CRACKER offendes me" - nobody.

   "Eating habits? You wanna know my eating habits? Well everytime I have to take a sh!t it's an emergency, hows that?"