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"Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond, by the end you will wish you had a club and a spade.
Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
The Duck Dynasty guys need to to look in their beards, I'm sure there's a few ducks in them...
Do you ever wake up and just say "nope" and then roll over and go back to sleep
I'm just a regular guy, I boil my spaghetti one noodle at a time.
Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse...
got a Rolex for his birthday from the lesbians next door. I think they misunderstood me when I said 'I wanna watch'
Osama 0 - Obama 1
Press the F13 button to get a surprise! Yeah that's right ;-)
im no gynecologist...but I'll take a look ;)
Sarah Palins name is becoming so big, That she can no longer see Russia from her house.
Lean pockets: for those of you who don't eat meat, but still like diarrhea.
#ThoughtsWhileLosingVirginity.........."So this is what all the hype is about huh"
I'm writing a book about cheap imported cars... It's a real Saab story.
In school days I used to hate that guy/girl who always reminds the teacher about tests and vivas
You use your phone as a flashlight at night and hit random buttons to keep it lit.
Boyfriend not calling you back? Send a text you're about to cut off all your hair. Ahhhh there he is!
AT&T should make a commercial with the pink dress girl naked and say, hey tmobile where is your clothes? And the girl can say you bought it right off my back. 