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My neighbor is the CEO of a factory that makes annoying children
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03-30-2012 11:23 by
snotty
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In Store Special - "You're My One and Only" Valentine's Day cards... 4 for $5...
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02-04-2011 03:24 by
JaxWylde
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Kharma, what did I do to deserve this?! ...Oh, now I remember. Carry on then.
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05-23-2011 13:26 by
Marshall the Great
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People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
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05-31-2011 21:25 by
BEGO
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I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
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06-24-2011 10:12
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Does any one have the answer to this::::: If Cinderella's Shoe Fits perfectly, then why did it fall off....??
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06-30-2011 17:44
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3
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Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman's boots...
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07-18-2011 19:46 by
Cornholio
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0
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Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” I said, “I am.”
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07-25-2011 04:00
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As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
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03-18-2011 21:35 by
cajunkorea
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We're all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
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09-27-2011 00:50
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After years of watching CSI, I still have never figured out why, when they walk into a dark house, they do their investigation with flashlights. One would think you could do a more thorough job if you flipped on the light.
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09-29-2011 20:04 by
K-Mac
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0
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What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water?... It's gonna take a while to get me hard. I just got laid by some chick.
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04-24-2011 17:56
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Not only do I want to see footage of bin Laden being killed, I want the Benny Hill theme song played over it.
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05-04-2011 15:26
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If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
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05-03-2014 06:25
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0
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Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster
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07-01-2014 01:13 by
Baddie
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If Obama was really Kenyan he would have won the race by now.
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11-06-2012 13:47 by
Czovczov
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I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
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05-17-2013 06:55
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1
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There should be a separate social networking site for people who post inspirational quotes.
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09-29-2012 07:17 by
Baddie
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1
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Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I'll be watching you. - Dog
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12-30-2012 08:25 by
Huck
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0
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What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!
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12-24-2010 07:09 by
will
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2
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