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You sir are so fluent in bullsh!t. 
Black Friday... Where the difference between "in line" and "on-line" is about 3 1/2 hours.
When you're put on hold using a cellphone, why can't the music be clear? It sounds like listening to an 80s tape after it is all torn up and played backwards.
Got in a fight once and ended up with a black eye. But you shoulda seen the other guy... Seriously, his form was AMAZING. Like a pro boxer.
The "J" in my neighbors joy sign burned out. A multi-faith family perhaps?
FYI: In the hip-hop community he's known as Li'l Drummer Boy.
Can any Chicago Bears ffans out there hook me up with an eight ball?
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door...... Funny sense of humour my plumber has.
Sometimes I like to walk next to people and sync with their step
I wish Eazy E was alive to see this LA Kings Stanley Cup Victory
Ive decided I'm going to be a better person starting now until the next time I check facebook.
"You "go ahead , I'm gonna go for the one with the smaller breast" said no man ever
Having sex while you are watching a p0rno does not count as 0rgy.
4th Of July The Day Mexicans Celebrate It More Than Americans
Update Yourself.. Not your status.
I could love anyone provided you're not a jerk, have decent teeth, and a good credit score.
Why do you date girls that look like men? Why not just date a man?
For a change a pace tonight I'm going to watch TV while laying on the couch as opposed to lay on the couch while watching TV.
Hellooooo....It's 2012.....Where's my flying car already?....Helloooooo.....
I don't trust this 'would you like cash back' bullsh!t. I'm trying to give you my money, but you're also trying to give me my money? Weird. 