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abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages
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Page: 4 of 10
I'm waiting till the iPad 1,473 comes out because it will fly you to the moon while you surf the internet.
84
15
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03-02-2011 21:24 by
Abbybaby34
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Drinking doesn't make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them...
130
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03-02-2011 21:16 by
Abbybaby34
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If you want me to go running with you, I'm going to need some motivation...Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
108
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03-02-2011 21:15 by
Abbybaby34
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I can no longer "drop it like it's hot", so I "squat like it's warm".
102
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03-01-2011 20:14 by
Abbybaby34
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When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country...It's a whole different way of thinking.
70
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03-01-2011 15:06 by
abbybaby34
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Charlie Sheen is Kenny Powers with more money.
41
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03-01-2011 14:23 by
abbybaby34
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is just five minutes more...
60
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03-01-2011 11:45 by
abbybaby34
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I love hearing rumors because they tell me things about myself I didn't know before.
77
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03-01-2011 11:43 by
abbybaby34
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0
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I FINALLY found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
67
15
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02-28-2011 23:03 by
Abbybaby34
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we all know "watch a movie" means "I wanna be in the dark with you"
107
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02-28-2011 18:06 by
abbybaby34
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As kids we want to be adults who can do whatever they want and as adults we wish we were kids who can do whatever they want
92
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02-28-2011 16:14 by
abbybaby34
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0
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Ever want to answer every question with a middle finger? That's kinda where I'm at today.
154
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02-28-2011 11:51 by
abbybaby34
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0
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Look, I know you have your "swag on" but can you walk a little bit faster?
110
25
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02-27-2011 21:06 by
Abbybaby34
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2
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I'm just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.
76
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02-27-2011 17:43 by
Abbybaby34
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0
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Don't get me wrong. I totally hear what you're saying...I just don't care.
33
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02-27-2011 17:13 by
Abbybaby34
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0
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Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside.
144
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02-27-2011 15:59 by
Abbybaby34
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Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a bat.
68
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02-26-2011 20:02 by
Abbybaby34
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You'd be amazed how often I'm wrong when people say guess what.
261
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02-26-2011 11:04 by
Abbybaby34
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1
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If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them.
165
29
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02-25-2011 23:08 by
Abbybaby34
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Who would have thought that giving an actor with a history of drug addiction $2 million an episode would have turned out badly?
123
22
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02-25-2011 15:27 by
abbybaby34
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