Mickey Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Mickey': View All Messages
Page: 4 of 6

   messageicon My girfriend's a h00ker with an IQ of 178. What a f**king know-it-all.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 20:19 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" The doctor: "Is this her first child?" Me: "No, this is her husband."
←Rate | 05-13-2012 08:05 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I insisted that my girl accompany me on a fishing trip. That opened up a new can of worms.
←Rate | 05-21-2012 19:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife was admitted to the hospital last night. She's in the Expensive Care Unit.
←Rate | 05-21-2012 19:29 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say that anyone who messes with America, is gonna get a good dose of Red, White, Black and Blue!
←Rate | 05-28-2012 09:32 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dog is man's best friend. Cat is an acquaintance.
←Rate | 06-07-2012 18:56 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you are so antiquated in your thinking...that whenever I click on your timeline, I find myself in 2012. BC
←Rate | 06-19-2012 09:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm bored. Let's see, I'll take a pic of me with my dog, then tag it with 97 facebook friends, then watch 'em go cuckoo.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 22:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon G0D must be a vegetarian. He never talks about eating meat...it's always "daily bread" this and "breaking bread" that and "take this bread and eat it to remember me by" etc. What a carb lover he turned out to be.
←Rate | 08-02-2012 10:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm such a maverick. I refuse to make Sun tea. I'm making Moon tea, and let me tell you...that $hit's been on the back porch for 8 years and it STILL ain't done.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 09:25 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon SCORE! Some girl on my friends list asked me to meet her for drinks tonight! All I need to do is hit the ATM and lose 70 lbs by 8 O'Clock.
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:56 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon As if my self esteem couldn't get any lower, when I got in the shower this morning, it laughed at me.
←Rate | 08-15-2012 11:25 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a dream about a planet run by orphans who sing a song filled with unintelligible lyrics and had authority figures with voices that blared like brass. Then I woke up and A Charlie Brown Christmas was on.
←Rate | 08-18-2012 09:50 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry. You need a favor? You know I'd consider it if I weren't so inconsiderate.
←Rate | 08-22-2012 09:56 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meteorology: The Exact Science Of Guesswork
←Rate | 08-27-2012 12:16 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay so I meet this woman. Deb Bowen. The first thing she says is that she's not high maintenance. I ask, "How so?" She goes, "I prefer Cool Whip over Whipped Cream."
←Rate | 08-30-2012 09:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being single at this time is not based on my wanting freedom to do what I want....It's more due to the fact that I want the freedom to not have to do what someone else wants.
←Rate | 09-17-2012 09:32 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon MY Fantasy Football thing is about the Cheerleaders.
←Rate | 10-21-2012 10:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have no idea what anyone means when they describe the weather as 'crisp'. If you're going to use the word 'crisp', you really should be talking about bacon.
←Rate | 10-21-2012 15:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always do things for the wrong reason. Like, watch the World Series for the organ music interludes.
←Rate | 10-24-2012 20:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left