Aaron Funny Status Messages

   I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

   There is a great need for sarcasm font

   Would you rather be a ginormous hampster or a tiny rhinocerous?

   Today is . . . the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.

   On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes.

   earns a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.

   If a baseball is hit out of the stadium, travels completely around the world, re-enters the stadium, and is caught by a fielder, is it a home run or an out?

   This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual status update, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do.

   For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

   A Chicken Sandwich walks into a bar, and orders some food & beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

   out cow died so we don't need your bull

   Lost his mind somewhere.. If you find it please put it back in the gutter.

   Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.

   Broken guitar for sale - no strings attached.

   A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...

   You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant...

   This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual status update, you would have driven staight 2 Taco Bell & eaten a chalupa.

   It was all so different before everything changed.

   Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.

   Well, at least the war on the environment is going well...