RoN Funny Status Messages

   Falling in love is like getting drunk. you wake up with a horrible hangover, swearing that you'll never drink again ;-)*

   Religions change; beer and wine remain.

   glad to see they are considering banning ED drug ads during the day. I hope the penalties are stiff.

   I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

   Don't try winning an arguement with a girl, they will ALWAYS win.

   a Blonde just texted me and asked "what does idk stand for? " I said "i dont know" she said "omg! nobody does!"

   thinks the fine people at Aleve are very wise indeed. For headaches, take two Aleve, and keep away from children.

   Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink.

   Here's what I've learned about dogs: They're a lot like pretty girls. Having one or two around makes everything more fun, but when you get a whole bunch together, it turns into one big power struggle.

   wondering, aside from that one thing, how did Mary Todd Lincoln like the play?

   I used to have a voice just like Justin Beiber, then I turned four.

   I hate it when people steal my ideas before I think of them.

   Scientists says the world is made of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons.... I think they forgot to mention Morons

   To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

   I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

   Looking through a girls photos and thinking "slut..slut..slut..slut" :D

   Here it comesssss.... WOOT! WOOT! There it goessssssss.... "CHA-CHING!" Man, Payday Sux! :P

   A good friend would bail you out of jail, but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, "damn that was awesome".

   Dear Ex, please get out of my head and heart. Sincerely, someone who`s trying to move on.

   1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands,7 seas, over 6 billion people, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.