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Doc Noland Funny Status Messages
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I hate it when people make words come out of their mouths
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08-06-2014 16:25 by
Doc Noland
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I can turn any song into the explict version if I dont really know the words.
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10-14-2013 16:56 by
Doc Noland
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Reece's Peanut Butter C Cups. Someone get to work on this. Now.
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11-07-2013 18:33 by
Doc Noland
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If your laugh in real life sounds like "Bwahahaha", guaranteed I won't be funny around you.
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06-14-2012 20:28 by
Doc Noland
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I think I ate to much, I dont mean right now. Just in general.
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10-29-2012 09:49 by
Doc Noland
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I have walrus-like reflexes! Basically I roll around my apartment and slap my belly when I want food
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08-09-2012 07:37 by
Doc Noland
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It's weird how starving people aren't allergic to gluten.
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03-20-2014 16:18 by
Doc Noland
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Being single is nice because I don't have to repeat my mumbled gibberish in a defensive tone.
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08-20-2012 22:37 by
Doc Noland
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My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
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12-28-2011 18:28 by
Doc Noland
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Licking whiskey off your keyboard in the morning is something everyone does, right?
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06-12-2012 09:54 by
Doc Noland
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If you're nice to an animal, it loves you for life. If you're nice to a woman, who the hell knows what's gonna happen.
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12-31-2012 14:41 by
Doc Noland
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Wendy's idea of a medium could save an African village.
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09-14-2011 12:01 by
Doc Noland
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Women like a man with confidence. Because without that, what's to destroy?
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03-02-2012 11:11 by
Doc Noland
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If Michael Douglas ever gets rectal cancer we're in for one hell of a story.
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06-06-2013 19:31 by
Doc Noland
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I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes saying ayo I said no mayo.
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10-08-2010 17:02 by
Doc Noland
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Ever since I started working out every day, I can really see a difference in how accomplished I am as a liar.
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04-03-2012 18:36 by
Doc Noland
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I can act my age just fine, until you say something like "penal code".
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08-31-2011 20:46 by
Doc Noland
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The first time sleeping over a girl's place is always awkward 'cause I have to explain who I am, how I got in, & why I'm crying...still single
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10-03-2011 21:14 by
Doc Noland
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I need a new refrigerator. There's no food in mine.
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12-27-2011 00:15 by
Doc Noland
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When I die, I want to be cremated and put inside an Etch-a-Sketch
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10-26-2012 10:58 by
Doc Noland
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