Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
The reason why I don't speak to you anymore is because I keep telling myself that if you wanted to talk to me, you would. 
I'm like a cold-cut of amazing sandwiched between two pieces of awesome! Charlie Sheen....I think I wanna marry that crazy Ba*tard, if nothing else having a conversation with him would be AWESOME!
Did you know you can sun burn your nipples? Me neither! Ouch.
I can see movies at any time, I'd rather have BOOZE on demand...
Well, Just crossed something else off my bucket list. I didn't do it I just got to damn old to do it.
Wondering if Americans are going to allow themselves to be fooled by their own intelligence agencies into really believing that their nation is at risk from hackers, allowing their government to completely reformat the Internet the way they see fit
something about a "BOEhner reBUTTal" just doesn't sound right.
There's no such a thing as a happy single woman. We're all just wives-in-training or crazy cat ladies.
I typed an essay in Word about a concerned Bugs Bunny. I then saved it as 'Whats Up.doc'
Rich people who own fancy Bidet/Toilet combos to cleanse themselves after bowel movements tend to look down on regular people. To them we're all just a bunch of a$$wipes.
You're as useless as the “ay” in “okay”!!
They say, "You are what you eat" ... The thing is, I don't remember eating a sexy b!tch.... oh wait a minute. Scratch that....
I read where it said that having sex burns 4 calories per minute. I mean come on, are you serious? This has to be worng. How was this ever verified? A WHOLE minute??
Note to self: The acronym for "Save the Date" is not appropriate to include all over a work memo
living the Champagne lifestyle with Bud Light pockets
Yes Mom, I can watch TV and be on the computer.
I hate it when my inner child talks back to the voices in my head.
I never text while I'm driving. I'm too busy putting on my makeup.
true friends got your back not sit onthe couch and watch you get your ass kicked .
I just had a Clark Kent moment, I didn't recognize you because you didn't have your glasses on. 