Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Many personality flaws are now treatable mental illnesses... My insurance denied me coverage, apparently being an @sshole is a preexisting condition. 
Thomas Kinkade was arrested for drunk driving...I wonder how long until he releases his new painting, "lights through the jailhouse window"?
I'd still be extremely impressed with a one trick pony if the trick were juggling.
Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy face, nice smile .... but thats enough about me, tell me how you are?
coo coo for Cocoa Puffs
I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy candy at the store, I'll drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.
Help I've fallen and I can't reach my beer.
Life is for living, I live for you. Dreams are for dreaming I dream for you. Hearts are for beating Mine beats for you. Angels are for keeping Can I keep you?
doesnt understand the big deal over bees knees. I looked at them under a microscope, nothing exciting!
blue balls isnt something you just play with at a park
Women are better at hiding cheating, Men are better at Cheating.
What is up with this Guiltless CheeseCake... How do we now what the CheeseCake is thinking?
Ok ladies, a night with me will give you examples for your future daughters of what kind of guy to watch out for, but in the meantime, it will give you one hell of a story to tell your girlfriends!
Age will never matter when it comes to laziness. I still wish I could shoot magic out of my finger to get things done.
Last night some girl told me she couldn't talk to me while I was texting. I told her "That's the point."
Back in my day there were only 151 Pokémon...
i find myself trying to like text messages..wtf?
Wow !!!!!! this is the oldest i've ever been, I fell Great..... Just out ran the kid next door to the ice cream truck, so what if he's only 10, i've still got something left in the old tank... It's a good day, a really good day!!!!
i m dissapointment in your grammer
The snooze button is life's way of saying that waking up sucks. 