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I wish I had had Dora's parents . They let her little A$$ go anywhere 
touching himself inappropriately while watching Rachel Ray cook bratwurst.
Yeah, right! Like I'm going to put that icky thing in my mouth.
Thinks artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
this just in...authorities have photographic evidence of George Bush turning a huge Icelandic Volcano Valve in his back yard,,,,I knew it...
Did anybody ever end up getting Jay-Z a what what? I think he also asked for a woop woop
To show my support for all the democracy protesters in the Middle East, I am shaving my balls today(They were getting hairy and I needed an excuse)
The Count from Sesame Street had OCD, right?
If you're physically knocking someone down to get into the Casey Anthony trial then you need a letter from a mental health specialist proving why you're unemployable
My drunken Uncle always says, "Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you."
Just filled up my gas tank and now I have to explain to the kids I don't have why there won't be a Christmas this year.
I remain concerned that without Internet access, the people of Egypt may not know that Charlie Sheen is okay.
When you open a big bag of cotton balls, is the top one ment to be trown away?
at home snorting Dorito dust.
34 days till steak and rh day! :D
Kinda feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected....
There are somethings some parents will never understand..like how to actually be parents...
Dear Dora, How do you get that t-shirt to fit over your head? Please tell me your secret because I would like to fit into these size 5 jeans. Sincerely, The Average Sized Woman
Sarcasm is not a way of speaking, it is a way of life.
I assume aliens love oral since they only abduct humans without teeth. 