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Bill Belichick will still list Brady as "questionable" on the injury report for the first 4 games of next season. 
I hate it when you are singing along to a song and the singer gets the words wrong.
I call my car the "pu$$y wagon" because that's where I go to cry
A Lover says, `I will be with you in all your troubles`. But a Good Friend says, `You will have no trouble when I am with you!`
Besides seeing it on money, 'government' and 'trust' do not mix.
That posh voice that your mum puts on when she's on the phone:')
Just once I'd like to yell, "You're a f#%$ing disgrace!" without feeling like a hypocrite.
Just because a few people of questionable eyesight and judgment say you are pretty does not automatically make you a model.
My doctor is a weight loss expert. He removes the fat from my wallet.
I don't understand why people in movies open doors so slowly to be stealthy. Doors only creak when you do that. I mean, try opening your door really quickly. Not a sound.
It doesn't bother me when I see men and women trade sex everyday like some kind of commodity. What bothers me is when they disguise and try to pass it off as dating. Remove the money element and the relationship crumbles.
Never again will I eat a foot long corn dog at a nude beach.!!!
don't you wish that cold a@@ Coors train was running through your neighborhood today?" Hell yeah. RIGHT NOW!
We dont remember anything from last night....Remember
Thunderstorm knocked out my power so to pass the time, I'm sticking sharp metal objects into the wall outlets and hoping the power doesn't come back on.
Two years from now, spam will be solved - Bill Gates (2004)
there is a good chance my eyes will be red tomorrow
Everyday I think people can't get any more stupid and pretty much everyday I'm proven horribly wrong!
xT: Quotes My Parents Say I Spend To Much Time On Facebook And Should Go Outside . Thank God For Laptops And Wifi.
Enrique Iglesias is far too pretty to be swearing in his songs. Its like being flipped off by a unicorn. 