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SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages
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Page: 35 of 74
Anyone who thinks Megan Fox is the hottest thing ever has obviously never left Pizza Rolls in too long.
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10
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02-02-2012 10:50 by
SuthernFukr
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I just cleaned out the fireplace so that "Santa won't get dirty". I did it for my son because I love him, even though he's delusional.
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12-23-2011 14:31 by
SuthernFukr
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Just woke up. Ice cream melted. Not sure where I am. Smells like basement.
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08-09-2011 13:28 by
SuthernFukr
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Making love is like making pancakes. When done on one side, flip over to finish.
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09-21-2011 10:28 by
SuthernFukr
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Tracy Morgan collapsed at Sundance and is blaming the altitude. I agree. He was way too high.
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01-23-2012 15:28 by
SuthernFukr
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We never had an on-and-off relationship before getting married. Ours was more of an in-and-out-and-in-out thing. People should try that!
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01-24-2012 15:54 by
SuthernFukr
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If there wasn't such thing as a last minute I'd never get anything done.
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05-31-2012 10:14 by
SuthernFukr
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I'm currently seeking a corporate sponsor for my retirement.
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11-22-2011 08:46 by
SuthernFukr
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I'm seriously as bored as a vegetarian gay guy at hooters!
46
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07-13-2011 21:24 by
SuthernFukr
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Nothing says "I'm carrying $3 and a Guitar Center receipt" like a wallet chain.
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02-16-2012 13:05 by
SuthernFukr
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I come from a long line of people waiting to get in.
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06-25-2012 09:11 by
SuthernFukr
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I don't mind going to work. It's that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
13
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07-18-2012 18:56 by
SuthernFukr
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Damn...I'm having an out of money experience.
28
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08-21-2011 10:15 by
SuthernFukr
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Rick Perry should start campaigning in one of those giant foam cowboy hats.
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08-18-2011 15:23 by
SuthernFukr
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Eventually gravity lowers every woman's standards.
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01-12-2012 11:12 by
SuthernFukr
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Thought an owl threw up in my bed but no apparently I ate half a granola bar in my sleep.
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02-12-2012 10:52 by
SuthernFukr
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My dentist just said I'm getting a crown! I must have been a *super* good patient today.
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02-15-2012 13:27 by
SuthernFukr
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In case you're wondering, sneezing while peeing is very uncomfortable indeed.
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02-18-2012 12:02 by
SuthernFukr
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The last time she got 100% on a test it involved peeing on a stick.
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06-18-2012 09:54 by
SuthernFukr
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Turns out Smart Cars also make great fridge magnets.
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06-26-2012 08:54 by
SuthernFukr
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