Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 341 of 5577
Everything I need to know in life I learned in kindergarten... if you poop your pants they let you go home.
203
36
←Rate |
03-23-2011 19:53 by
@The69Sheriff
Comments (
0
)
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music of the internet.
203
36
←Rate |
01-06-2011 13:33 by
Me
Comments (
0
)
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
203
36
←Rate |
02-13-2012 13:39 by
Paul wall
Comments (
0
)
Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce. During this difficult time, the Kardashian family requests as much attention as possible.
141
25
←Rate |
10-31-2011 15:32
Comments (
0
)
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
141
25
←Rate |
07-11-2012 17:28 by
Jackoo
Comments (
1
)
Dear Egyptians, please chill the f**k out while we consult our groundhog for advice.
141
25
←Rate |
02-02-2011 14:21 by
Aaron
Comments (
0
)
A homeless man comes up to asking for change,I say"change comes from within" he looked stunned.
141
25
←Rate |
07-17-2011 19:38 by
RUDEDOG
Comments (
0
)
All I heard was, "I swear it'll be funny"... Then we were in jail.
141
25
←Rate |
07-22-2011 14:23 by
SuthernFukr
Comments (
0
)
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn't speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
141
25
←Rate |
09-18-2011 11:54
Comments (
0
)
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
141
25
←Rate |
09-23-2011 15:49
Comments (
0
)
My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
141
25
←Rate |
11-25-2012 21:49 by
BEGO
Comments (
0
)
If I don't mention you, then the status wasn't about you. But if the shoe fits, then lace it up and wear it.
141
25
←Rate |
01-14-2013 02:04 by
@zubindalal1
Comments (
1
)
My girlfriend came out of the shower and said "I shaved down there, you know what that means?" I said, "Yeah the drain is clogged again."
141
25
←Rate |
02-09-2013 12:48 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Who designed the pants with the word pink on the back? It should be on the front, and the back should say brown.
141
25
←Rate |
01-26-2011 06:52 by
Will
Comments (
0
)
thinks it's only a weak soul that walks towards Alchohol as a 'solution' when the going gets tough. Not me though - I sprint towards it....
141
25
←Rate |
02-26-2010 08:48 by
samdave69
Comments (
0
)
Have you ever noticed that Gatorade doesn't work on guys who suck?
141
25
←Rate |
03-17-2010 13:40 by
Samir Momin
Comments (
1
)
stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house but two people died...
141
25
←Rate |
03-18-2010 12:59 by
Samir Momin
Comments (
0
)
The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
141
25
←Rate |
03-21-2010 14:39 by
Samir Momin
Comments (
1
)
Told my friend if he causes us to go to jail, I am slapping the soap out of his hands...
141
25
←Rate |
09-23-2010 21:41 by
rll
Comments (
0
)
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
141
25
←Rate |
09-26-2010 08:33 by
lemonpillow
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com