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The scary thing is that Snooki's tattoo is more manly than Bieber's. 
You know that one person you're always thinking about? They don't.
Since Manti Teo's girlfriend didn't exist, I really hope AJ McCarron's girlfriend wasn't a hologram.
Don't be freaked out that I'm knocking at your door. Haven't seen you update your status for a few days, and just wanted to make sure you're okay.
The atmosphere at the Superbowl must have been absolutely electric! Oh wait.....
not single; is just waiting for his girlfriend to quit playing hide and seek.
I am thinking about going back to college to further my education. Just don't know if I am gonna fit into the stripper clothes I am gonna need to be able to pay for it.
c[_] see that... It's my care cup... And it's kinda empty -.-
You're not too young for me; you just haven't lived enough.
Too many men try to extinguish a woman's fire. If you feel her heat, don't bring water, bring gasoline.
"I barely know you are you sure you want to have sex?" Things you will never hear a guy say
I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road
why is it called a caesarean section and not an escape womb
I ate so much bread yesterday, I checked Web MD to make sure that I couldn’t end up with a yeast infection.
My neighbour wasn’t in when her wedding dress was delivered. She called to ask me if I would take it in for her, so I did and now she’s mad because I made it too tight.
If you don't vaccinate your kids they'll grow up to be Vegan CrossFitters with a gluten allergy.
Pope declares Mother Teresa a saint. Kanye West sues the Catholic Church for copyright infringement.
I bet Target never opens stores next to a bow and arrow shop.
When I was young at bedtimes my mum always told me a story with a happy ending. One of the benefits of having a mum from Thailand I suppose.
The pinata is a great way for Mexicans to teach their kids to beat something till they get what they want. 