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I Dont Care if he's a werewolf, its snowing, and the least he could do is put on a f*cking shirt! 
i just joined the dark side, turns out they lied about the cookies.
I wish it sounded less gay when I said at last nights BBQ that "i'm craving a wiener." oh well, live and learn.
Brett Favre has just announced he is going to play for the Miami Heat this seaon!
5 Words for us MAN to live by, "NEVER MAKE A WOMAN ANGRY."
I love people that go to the beach w. a t shirt over their bathing suit, I think that draws more attention to whatever ur trying to hide
driving the Hummer on Earth Day!!
Some Women say they spend alot of money on makeup to make them look pretty, they also say we spend alot of money on beer but what they dont know is that its also to make them look pretty.
So is this where I'm supposed to type a heartfelt sentence, or a quote or something describing how I feel and stuff? Cool, mine's far more complicated to be typed here.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
In every Red Lobster tank, there's one lobster who says: "You guys are so paranoid! It's great here! I love the view!"
I think that what I like most about myself is that I'm so understanding when I do something wrong.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
wondering WHY is everybook about vampires now. Pride and prejudce, alice in wonderland, ...why dont we just turn mickey mouse in to a vampire too? !!!
Went to Walmart last night and thought they were doing a special reinactment of "The Hills Have Eyes", but realized that they were all customers, as well.
loves picking his nephew up from Preschool cause the single mothers are usually late and so am I :D
really misses Tiger Woods Gatorade. But the John Daly Gatorade is pretty good, too (it has vodka in it)
It is not fastfood if you keep me waiting for 20 minutes for a damn burger!
A grown man making snow angels in the yard shouldn't be so strange...dressed in a clown suit playing the bagpipes sure as hell made it weird.
Monday Meeting Autopilot: Shake hands...Good to see you...Squint at pie charts...Nod head...Fake chuckle at the jokes...Suppress yawn...Thank you...and Clap when the 3 hour anguish ends... 