Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 311 of 5593
It's always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
51
9
←Rate |
07-11-2014 05:17 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
51
9
←Rate |
07-28-2014 09:49 by
smeebert
Comments (
0
)
I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
51
9
←Rate |
08-30-2014 11:47 by
Baddie
Comments (
0
)
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone's ok with that.
51
9
←Rate |
09-02-2014 13:35 by
Baddie
Comments (
0
)
My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'f*ck.' What the make love is she talking about?
51
9
←Rate |
12-22-2014 10:15 by
StonerDudee
Comments (
0
)
Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like "the light is red!" and "don't text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"
51
9
←Rate |
01-16-2015 08:31 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Hugs that turn into sex? Where do I get those? Mine always turn into "Let me go or I'm calling the police."
51
9
←Rate |
04-03-2015 20:22
Comments (
0
)
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn't get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn't brushed her teeth in forever.
51
9
←Rate |
04-11-2015 22:20 by
huck
Comments (
0
)
Humans pretend to be smart, but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we just developed x-ray vision.
51
9
←Rate |
05-21-2015 12:50
Comments (
0
)
Pro tip: Always tell anyone who calls you that your phone is about to die. This way they get straight to the point and won't waste your time.
51
9
←Rate |
05-23-2015 20:42 by
Uncle Bubba
Comments (
0
)
Bought a blowup doll today but I won't blow her up til tomorrow. Don't want to seem desperate.
51
9
←Rate |
02-23-2014 15:43 by
YomamaBeenFunny
Comments (
0
)
My bed always shows signs of struggle in the morning.
51
9
←Rate |
03-24-2014 08:30 by
Doc Noland
Comments (
0
)
If you feel like you've done nothing in life remember that some trees take 20 years to grow only to become notebooks with Justin Bieber on them.
51
9
←Rate |
04-04-2014 23:46 by
StonerDudee
Comments (
0
)
It's cool how Bruce Lee studied philosophy & poetry then applied it to something beautiful like punching people in the face.
51
9
←Rate |
04-23-2014 01:05 by
Kisstopher707
Comments (
0
)
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking
51
9
←Rate |
04-30-2014 06:49 by
Huck
Comments (
0
)
Hangman is a great game to teach kids that if they don't learn how to spell, they could be put to death.
51
9
←Rate |
06-20-2015 16:53 by
andrew jackson
Comments (
0
)
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
51
9
←Rate |
06-23-2015 11:27
Comments (
0
)
If you take a trip around the world and calculate the different time zones just right, you can pick yourself up from the airport
51
9
←Rate |
11-01-2015 08:04 by
Aaron
Comments (
0
)
Breaking News!!! It is okay to "NOT" get in a debate on a Facebook status if you really have no idea what you are talking about. You can just move on to a cat picture or something you understand and comment on that..
51
9
←Rate |
12-28-2013 11:01 by
EF
Comments (
0
)
Every minute Justin Bieber is held in jail is a victory for good music.
51
9
←Rate |
01-23-2014 11:38
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com