anonymous Funny Status Messages

   knows the muffin man.

   If you don't talk to your cat about catnip.....who will?

   nourishing his inner child with Cheetos and beer.

   your father's brother's nephew's cousin's sister's uncle's brother's friend's second cousin's former roommate on your mothers side.

   life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain

   textually active

   can't help but notice that fettucini alfredo is just fancy adult speak for macaroni and cheese.

   proof that God has a sense of humor...

   [this comment has been removed due to legal action by the Church of Scientology]

   Doing Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

   has found her favorite machine at the gym it's the vending machine!

   What if there were no hypothetical questions?

   made a poor spending decision and would now like Congress to bail him out for the sake of his shareholders.

   The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

   making cows laugh and watching milk run out their nose

   cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

   still misses someone. But his aim is improving!

   successfully licked one of his elbows!

   getting a grip on reality..and choking it to death

   doing nothing worth mentioning on facebook.