Griff Funny Status Messages

   While cooking dinner tonight I got herbs in my eyes. I am now parsley sighted

   s a cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face

   British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

   The following sentence is true: The previous sentence is false. (

   Today is my day off so I'll spend it worrying that I'm wasting my day off before I have to go back to work.

   Sometimes I just get so frustrated by the rush-hour traffic that I slam my head on the steering wheel. That's usually followed by the bus driver telling me to get out.

   Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it's wide use 3 fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

   You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

   That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.

   Thinks Women are magic creatures: they get wet without water, bleed without being injured, give milk without eating grass, can make boneless meat ROCK HARD!