Yaj Funny Status Messages

   take my advice; I don't use it anyway.

   never forget the 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

   's words to live by: Treat everyone you meet with dignity and respect but always have a plan to kill them.

   says if someone questions your motives for doing something, throw them off by saying "I did it to protect you"

   just sent a text message to a random number saying "Im Pregnant"

   sometimes feels like going up to people who have just been seated at a restaraunt and say "Just to let you know, the last person that sat here threw up on the table"...

   Walking thru a spider web instantly turns you into a ninja

   Muhammad Ali vs. Michael J. Fox - The Quickest Game of Jenga Ever

   Live once. Regret nothing. Rewrite destiny.. nothing is written in stone. Nothing. Love your life the way you need to, not the way your told too.

   My girlfriend called me a pedophile! I was shocked! That's such a big word for a 5 year old

   How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

   BREAKING NEWS: Florida 1st state of the union to legalize murder..

   Casey Anthony wants to be out of jail by Halloween, so she can dress up as a woman who didn't kill her baby

   I love meeting new people until they say something stupid. Most of my friendships last about 3 minutes.

   wonders what would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

   Combined "no problem" and "your welcome" to an upset customer ... its not good saying "your problem" at the end of a phone call .. whoops

   If Satan punishes the evildoers, wouldn't that make him a good guy?

   While looking at porn, "Low Battery" appears . . .Challenge Accepted

   you should Y0u.Tube "warriors of goja", sit back, and enjoy.

   I see all these women outside in short skirts. If they don't catch frostbite, they'll definitely catch an STD