Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   I love a Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

   maybe Tiger Woods' relationship status should say "it's really complicated"

   Everybody would agree that 2009 has been a hard year for all of us.

   Why would a girl wanna be a Barbie? Barbie's are fake and dumb, yes DUMB. I'll take a natural woman any day thank you.

   FACEBOOK + CHRISTMAS = Endless status updates reminding you what month it is. Not to mention pages and pages of people's Xmas pics.

   Idea for a Christmas Party: Have two guys dress as Jesus and Santa Claus. One brings wine the other brings Eggnog with vodka. Santa brings his 12 reindeer playboy bunnies. All at your mother-in-law's house. ONE BIG JINGLE FOR THE YEAR.

   sorry 2009 but I'm going to have to file a restraining order on you. You're going to have to stay at least 365 days away from me. You caused to many problems.

   thank you for the thousands and thousands of reminders letting me know what today is. Good job Thanks!! Keep me posted!

   Its Jesus' birthday yet..... we're the ones getting the gifts.....How about that.

   Friends are like Christmas lights. Some are broke, others just don't work for you....and there are others that make your day shine bright.

   Verizon called me complaining that my map was in their way.

   changed his/her relationship status to "None of you damn business"

   thought about dozens of Vampire movies and shows for the past decade and wondered which ones sucked the life out him and the ones that just sucked.

   You ever wonder how much more advanced this whole world would be IF we only had one religion AND racism never existed?

   Did a book report on facebook and passed.

   the cost of living has gone up and the cost of making a living is really up.

   Facebook: the only book teens read these days.

   you know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her.

   planning on driving to the south Florida for the Super Bowl. Let's just hope I don't "FUMBLE" my keys a few times before getting there.

   some people come to Facebook just to air out their "dirty laundry", others just don't know how to clean it.