Yaj Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon trying really hard not to make eye contact with the monstrosity of a woman I had a drunken hookup with. . .
←Rate | 08-24-2009 16:15 by Yaj | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money
←Rate | 02-11-2016 22:23 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Live once. Regret nothing. Rewrite destiny.. nothing is written in stone. Nothing. Love your life the way you need to, not the way your told too.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 09:09 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anybody know today's date?
←Rate | 12-12-2012 22:27 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I heard a guy on the street say, 'It's chowder season, baby!' so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
←Rate | 12-09-2016 07:18 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heros don't wear capes, they wear dog tags.
←Rate | 04-04-2012 23:09 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a message from Jaheem Kofi, the kid I'm feeding for $.50 a day in Ivory Coast... he wants his NY Ranger 2014 Stanley Cup Champions T-shirt in small.
←Rate | 06-09-2014 23:24 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim n kanye should name their kid 'KiIlevry" .. .. KiIlevry Kardashian has a nice ring too it
←Rate | 06-21-2013 09:02 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!
←Rate | 07-20-2017 15:55 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish "Earth Day" was a realityh show in which we can vote people off of the planet.
←Rate | 04-24-2014 12:16 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone else notice that "The Los Angeles Angels" directly translates to "The The Angels Angels"?
←Rate | 07-11-2012 14:26 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon feels like pile-driving his whiny coworker thru a thick glass table bound with barbed wire into a pool of rubbing alcohol with rusty nails and then set it on fire and drink a beer...
←Rate | 08-26-2009 11:15 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see all these women outside in short skirts. If they don't catch frostbite, they'll definitely catch an STD
←Rate | 12-08-2011 16:37 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon never forget the 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 10:42 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why Band*Aid doesnt make ethnically colored bandages
←Rate | 01-07-2010 10:57 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Vegeterian" is American Indian for 'Bad Hunter'
←Rate | 08-20-2010 07:44 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best way to live a miserable life is to pay attention to what other people are saying about you.
←Rate | 01-15-2014 15:11 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon 's words to live by: Treat everyone you meet with dignity and respect but always have a plan to kill them.
←Rate | 01-07-2011 08:03 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon giving up Status Updates for lent
←Rate | 12-21-2009 11:25 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that the US Soccer team should dress up as oral hygienists to scare the english into forfeiture
←Rate | 06-10-2010 16:19 by Yaj Comments (0)  



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