RoN Funny Status Messages

   Ladies.. Let no past relationship ruin your love life. Remember: "Love will only fail when you fail to love!" Keep moving!

   can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook...

   Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

   May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

   wishes his lawn was emo, then maybe it would cut itself.

   glad Justin brought sexy back, I didn't mean to scare it away to begin with.

   wonders if people who use sign language are allowed to talk with their mouth full....

   How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on..

   Going to: ❒ Paris ❒ New York ❒ London ✔ KITCHEN, I'm hungry

   thinks he is going to adopt an African child, but he isn't going to be like Angelina Jolie and just adopt willy nilly, if he goes over there, he is coming back with a wide receiver or running back.

   What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

   FACEBOOK asks me what I'm thinking, TWITTER asks me what I'm doing, FOURSQUARE asks me where I am. Conclusion: Internet is my girlfriend!

   I think Fb is stupid. Last time I tried changing my password to penis and Fb said it 'wasn't long enough'. How the hell do they know?

   Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

   Saw a sign at the hospital that said "Family Planning.... Use Rear Entrance". I thought it was good advice.

   taking a mental vaction. Leave a message, and when my mind returns I will get back to you.

   If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.

   Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

   n't surprised that our economy has troubles when we deal with something called Hog Futures. Hogs have no future. Bacon is not a career.

   's friend was hit by a Dodge, which he/she found both funny and ironic.