What I miss most about having kids in diapers is that there was always a constant supply of diaper rash cream for the mornings after I ate Mexican food.
at the circus watching a guy shoot out of a cannon. I thought, "Half of me wants to do that sometime.". Then I thought, "Half of me already did do that the day I was conceived!"
Some dare devils pull crazy stunts by flipping cars... I just did the ultimate stunt and flipped my mattress! I have a few cuts and brushes, but I'll be OK!
Osama's diary found? "Dear Diary, Had an OK day hiding here in the compound. Watched some CNN. 2 of my 3 wives are on the rag, so that's a drag. Well, that's all for now. Bye, Osama "