Leeferd Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Does PETA think all animals die a natural death, with hospice care, surrounded by family keeping vigil until passing quietly into the night?
←Rate | 06-10-2010 07:15 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one wasted their superhero/villain potential quite like Zack Morris and his ability to Freeze Time.
←Rate | 08-10-2010 10:02 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon You know you're in the ghetto when the liquor stores have posters of Tanqueray, Black & Milds, and signs for a 2 piece chicken dinner special in the window.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:02 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon In every Red Lobster tank, there's one lobster who says: "You guys are so paranoid! It's great here! I love the view!"
←Rate | 05-27-2010 14:27 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got to get my life on track if I still expect Elton John to change the lyrics of "Candle in the Wind" for me.
←Rate | 10-30-2010 07:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been told by many I need to watch my language on Facebook. So for everyone that doesn't like my language, "coitus you."
←Rate | 05-11-2010 13:39 by Leeferd Comments (2)  


   messageicon Never get directions from the illiterate. "Turn left on Cave" is actually, "turn left on C Ave."
←Rate | 05-27-2010 12:35 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to remind everyone that today is "Spay & Neuter Your Rednecks Day."
←Rate | 04-12-2010 10:45 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Wendy's, I so love your delicious, frozen treat called the Frosty. May I make a suggestion? Instead of a plastic straw, could you please substitute this with a bamboo straw? I'm tired of the plastic straws collapsing on me.
←Rate | 04-23-2010 17:52 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people say I'm too brutally honest. The truth hurts... and I don't carry band-aids.
←Rate | 07-24-2010 10:41 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sharting: (verb) when you try to cut the cheese and get the whole nacho dip.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 10:27 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wished mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 07:14 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love to make your own homemade beef jerky, don't get a vanity tag for your vehicle that says "LUV2JERK." People will laugh at you.
←Rate | 04-01-2010 16:54 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that whenever I'm on vacation I can ALWAYS find a Law & Order marathon on TNT?
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:34 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been on hold so long I can't remember who I called. I have a credit card out & my pants off but that doesn't narrow it down much.
←Rate | 04-09-2010 08:17 by Leeferd Comments (4)  


   messageicon Those Chilean miners are gonna be so surprised when they find out they were really on Big Brother this whole time.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 16:20 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders what the guys from Color Me Badd are doing nowadays because I need a new roof.
←Rate | 07-26-2010 06:30 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I sat down for 10 seconds with a pad and pen, I could totally write a song for Yo Gabba Gabba!
←Rate | 08-05-2010 07:44 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon has thrown games of "Hangman" to intentionally kill that guy.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 07:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a guy sitting next to me on the plane that looks like Jesus Christ. Just handed him a bottle of water and said, "Merlot, please."
←Rate | 06-29-2010 08:20 by Leeferd Comments (0)  



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