Jake Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Most wives don't mind if their husband bring some work home to do. But my sister does, her husband is a mortician.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Living in a nudist colony, takes all the fun out of Halloween.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 22:54 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who don't have a dog, have to pick the food up them self that they drop on the floor .
←Rate | 08-30-2017 20:47 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon We were so poor. That one birthday my gift was a pack of batteries with a note, toys not included.
←Rate | 09-05-2017 16:51 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Quickest way to get a person to call you back. Take a bath.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 04:08 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 07:07 by Jake Comments (2)  

   messageicon such an unthoughtful farmer that he wants to smash his neighbor's White Mystery Eggs and slaughter their Baby Calf if he can't get them off his News Feed.
←Rate | 02-26-2010 18:31 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does anyone really ever listen to the wedding march melody? Dumb dumb de dumb ...... Dumb dumb de dumb.
←Rate | 08-31-2017 01:59 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon At Halloween never go to a dog park dressed as a fire hydrant.
←Rate | 09-20-2017 17:20 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 20:42 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon committed to TWAT. (The War Against Terrorism)
←Rate | 01-28-2010 13:31 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are 2 types of people on Facebook: those who have a way with words, and the others, who, don't... not... have... way.
←Rate | 12-16-2009 16:21 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Feeling down? Just play your wedding tape backwards and you'll feel better.
←Rate | 08-31-2017 17:32 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do you know why it's mandatory for female paratroopers to wear pants ? It's to prevent them from whistling on their way down.
←Rate | 09-04-2017 13:48 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't mind going to work every day and working with a bunch of a**holes. I'm a proctologist.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 20:45 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?
←Rate | 12-16-2009 16:22 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks throwback week is almost as much fun as post your bra color week.
←Rate | 01-13-2010 19:25 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon For Halloween I'm going to wear a t-shrit with the word life on it and hand out lemons.
←Rate | 10-09-2017 22:59 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your wife tells you that your right. Is that sarcasm?
←Rate | 10-23-2017 19:51 by Jake Comments (2)  

   messageicon You can not use the 5 second rule when you drop a hotdog on the floor if you have a 3 second dog.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 18:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


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