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They need to change the sign from "Speed Limit" to "Required Speed." 
My moral compass always gets me lost.
Dong. Oh Dong! Where is my automobile?
3.14159 I love you when you're covered in ice cream.
The defendant was acquitted of stealing twenty-three bottles of beer. Prosecutors couldn't make a case of it.
that you shouldn't base your life on what other people think!
Dear politicians: don't kid yourself for a moment that I'll believe a single word you say in the next month. Seriously. Save your breath.
doesn't allow men to smoke in his room, but women can. Hell, they can barbecue a goat if they want.
drunker then a two dollar hooker on topless tuesday.."
sad that '24' is coming to an end after 8 seasons. I have given 8 whole days of my life to this series.
just got a 'friend request' from Dr. Phil as suggested by another friend....Hmmmm, is this friend trying to tell me something???
If love is blind does that mean divorce is lasik surgery?
Wants to thank BP. Now I can wash and oil my lettuce at the same time
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
When the world kicks you when you're down, breaks its legs.
All you single ladies, put your applications in
I don't know about you, but if corpses don't rise from the ground and renact the Thriller video at Jacko's funeral I will never be happy again.
just a KID, if you can read reverse..
's keys are really good at hide and go seek,they are definitely winning.
A new study says people who sit a lot die sooner. Basically, if you're a tennis umpire with a roommate who paints portraits, you're screwed. 