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pleasure and frustration, right as you're about to cum, they do a 10 second shot of the dude's face! 
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Tila Tequila says in interview that she's a hardcore conservative. It's no wonder why she thinks the earth is flat.
CNN debate polls are in: Hillary 4% Sanders 6% Webb 2% Putin 70% Karl Marx 18%
Working for God does not pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world
I love a good political joke. Unless it gets elected president...
Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut up and dramatically lower your standards!
Remember when you were a kid and used to blow bubbles? Well Bubbles called and he wants your phone number...
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I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, "S3x! S3x! S3x! Free s3x tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 6663629."
My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I sh*t you knot."
Mandatory voting? Reminds me of saw a video I saw about a leader who forced people to do crazy stuff under his leadership. But it was hard to understand, the narration was in German.
I think I'm going to post the Constitution in my Facebook status. That way the government might read it.
When the cashier said "Strip down facing me" how was I supposed to know she meant my debit card?
Phuck the IslamaNazi's.....
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
It's so cold out that I saw two gangsters with their pants UP
Ugh, still writing 2012 on my death threats.
Hillary wears pantsuits because her balls would show in a dress!!
if you die in a elevator....press the UP button! 