Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 265 of 5593

   messageicon happy and I knew it and then I clapped my hand, everyone thought I was weirdo :/
←Rate | 10-03-2011 10:26 by Muzammil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are wise, Some are just other wise.
←Rate | 10-10-2011 19:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no law against sticking to your guns, but make sure you've loaded your brain before you start firing off your mouth.
←Rate | 07-23-2011 21:34 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever lose a hand I'm definitely replacing it with a single nunchuck on a chain
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I offend people in a nice way
←Rate | 04-12-2011 17:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think I should be held responsible for the things I say to fill awkward silences.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 11:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brexit could be followed by Grexit, Departugal, Italeave, Czechout, Oustria, Finish, Slovakout, Latervia, Byegium. Only Remania will stay.
←Rate | 06-28-2016 23:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go fund me = internet panhandling
←Rate | 07-25-2016 12:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I watched some of the debate last night...I kept on waiting for someone to say "Live from New York it's Saturday Nite"!!!!! But it never happened.....
←Rate | 10-10-2016 14:16 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Airport security asked me if I've seen anything unusual...I just paid $18 for a coke & a ham sandwich...Let's start with that.
←Rate | 11-02-2016 20:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
←Rate | 03-01-2017 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drank so much Vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.
←Rate | 01-16-2016 06:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drive safer when there's food on the passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there.
←Rate | 02-06-2016 18:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it....Biggie and Tupac get gunned down but nobody will shoot Kanye West.
←Rate | 02-19-2016 17:54 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I certainly hope the douche who stole my credit card enjoys his $14.03 shopping spree.
←Rate | 03-03-2016 17:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever someone invites me to their home and I see more than 3 cars parked outside, I keep driving.......just in case it's an intervention.
←Rate | 05-24-2016 22:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by "social drinker" you mean I like to drink instead of being social, then yes, I'm a social drinker.
←Rate | 06-05-2015 10:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon French toast is regular toast that surrendered.
←Rate | 06-26-2015 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
←Rate | 12-16-2015 07:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Divorce---When being wrong every day for being alive isn't working for you.
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left